


Louis Tomlinson: Superhost

by Annaniemouse



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Breakup, Harry Styles - Freeform, Heartbreak, LGBT, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Mpreg, Other, True Love, Ziall Ficathon, Zouis Fic Exchange, larry - Freeform, larry is real, larry stylinson - Freeform, m/m - Freeform, ziam, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-04-14 20:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14143521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annaniemouse/pseuds/Annaniemouse
Summary: Louis Tomlinson is a starving musician....well not really starving... but not where he planned to be at age 24. He's sold a few hit songs but still lived off Ramen most of the time because he sends all his money home to help his sister Lottie with bills now that his mum is sick. His best friend, Zayn, a very famous tattoo artist, talks him into using his spare room for AirBNB which helps a lot. He's put his own personal touches into it and with his quaint house so close to the beach and just a shoe drive to LA, starts making good money off of it. Then Zayn says one of his clients and close friends needs a place to crash for a couple of months and is offering to pay him 200k so long as he signs an NDA, acts as his assistant, and cooks him his meals......but when Harry Styles, ultra-famous singer/actor shows up at his doorstep.....his life gets a little interesting.





	1. An Offer You Can't Refuse

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy! (hopefully)

Louis smiled widely and waved the couple goodbye from his doorstep as they got into their white Honda Civic and drove off.

Once they rounded the corner of his culdasac his smile dropped and he used both his palms to rub at his temples furiously.

God those two had been just a little too much.

He wondered again why the hell he'd let Zayn talk him into being an Air BNB host but then looked over to his full fruit basket sitting on his kitchen counter and then over to the other side to his brand new comfy couch he'd bought three weeks ago looking all nice in his living room.

He sighed and admitted to himself that they hadn't really been all that bad....just a bit loud....often...all night fucking long....damned newlyweds.

He rang Zayn, "Oi, sorry I missed your call, I was saying goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Bunny."

Zayn laughed and Louis could hear the smirk in his voice, "Well maybe if you got laid you wouldn't be so anti newlyweds mate."

He grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and spoke through the bite, "Um, no thanks. You remember how horrible it was when we tried that right?"

Zayn rolled his eyes, "I don't mean me Louis, I mean _someone_ you cheeky bastard. **Anyways** , your lack of a sex life is not why I called. I need a favor."

Louis sighed, "I swear Zayn if you ask me to wax your-"

"Oh shut up would you. Jesus. I asked you about it one fucking time, not even to help me, just if you'd ever-"

Louis laughed, he loved getting Zayn riled up....all of his friends really. He couldn't help it. He loved to make them ramble.

Zayn sighed, "You bloody gremlin."

"Oi!"

Zayn grinned, "Oh sorry, do you need a taller insult?"

Louis spoke through his teeth, "Shove that favor up your arse!"

Zayn smirked, "Even for two-hundred-thousand dollars."

Louis choked on the drink of water he'd taken. He coughed, "Two-" cough, "-hundred-"cough, "thousand?"

Louis took a few deep breathes and then cleared his throat, "Don't fuckin' joke like that with me Zayn."

Zayn sighed, "You know for life long friends and me helping you find that sweet deal on that house, you're super distrusting."

Louis pulled his phone away from his face and glared at it, then put it back to his ear, "Yeah! Because you were also the one who talked me into shaving my eyebrows off by telling me everyone at school was doing it in solidarity for kids with MS! Oh, and what about the time you talked me into feeling up on a real cop because you told me he was a stripper! Oh, and-"

"Alright, Alright, I get it. My bad." Zayn spoke sweetly, "Turning a new leaf. Being proper nice to save my soul and whatnot."

Louis walked toward his back porch grabbing his pack of cigarettes, "Well I'm not selling my organs, so if it's something like that forget it."

Zayn laughed, "It's just a matter of closing down your AirBNB for two months beginning the end of next week and giving a friend of mine a place to stay."

I pulled out a cigarette and put it to my lips, "200K for just a place to stay? Yeah fucking right! Are they a drug lord?"

"No, nothing like that. Just a bit famous... up and coming, looking for a place to lay low and work on their next album."

Louis interest piqued, "They're a singer."

Zayn shifted uncomfortably, "I can't say anything else...but they are nice person, really cool, and going through a lot....so...."

Louis lost interest, "Your friend's just egocentric isn't he/she? Needs some time to find his/her true self away from the limelight? I bet she/he's not even that big a star, just full of themselves."

He lit his cigarette and took a long drag.

Zayn sighed, "So will you do it?"

Louis repeated again, "Just a place to stay?"

He took another drag.

Zayn added lightly, "And cook for them, be their assistant, quit your job.....sign an NDA....nothing major."

Louis hung up, waited for the phone to ring, answered, cursed Zayn to hell, and hung up again.

He put out his cigarette and stomped back inside.

How could Zayn of all people ask him that? Quit his job? He was insane.

He'd been applying for a spot at Columbia Records for 3 years and he'd **finally** gotten a shitty entry position with shitty pay, which meant he still had to work as a bartender at Charlie's on the weekend and then come home to pamper his AirBNB guests.

Having his foot in the door at Columbia Records was like a dream. He was finally getting to truly work towards his dreams.

The phone started ringing and he looked at the screen to see that Zayn was requesting to FaceTime.

He sighed and accepted the request and then proceeded to glare at his overly attractive best friend, "You're an ass for asking that."

Zayn's eyebrows furrowed, "Lou, come on, I know I mess with you but do you really think I would mess up your dreams?"

Louis pouted, "No."

Zayn smiled, "Exactly. I think this could launch your career. Truly."

"Who is it? How do you know they'll even pay me the time of day?"

Zayn pressed his lips together, thinking of a way to tell Louis something comforting without betraying Harry, "Well, um, I was tattooing my friend, and my friend saw these lyrics of yours I put up on my wall and my friend started crying-"

"Well you were pokin' at them with needles and whatnot-"

"Listen to me! Jeez! He brought the canvas. Handed me 5k for it."

Louis gaped, "5K for a canvas with my lyrics on it?"

Zayn nodded.

Louis ran his hand through his hair, "Wow."

Zayn looked up past his phone and smiled, "Be there in a minute sweetheart."

Then looked back down at me, "Do this Lou. Trust me. This will change your life."

Louis bit his lip nervously, but nodded.

Zayn grinned widely, "Yes! Okay, I'll tell their lawyer to come by with the NDA." He rolled his eyes, "Gotta go tattoo 'best friend' tattoos for this group of sorority girls now....god I fucking hate tuesdays."

Louis laughed and winked goodbye.

Then he realized he'd just agreed to quit his job and ran to the trash can throwing up the apple and water he'd just had.


	2. A Deal With An Unknown Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is bombarded with background checks and contracts to sign prior to his mystery guest arriving.

He paced around the room, "So they said she's cancer free?!" His body buzzed with excitement. 

Lottie and Fizzy squealed happily on the other side, then Lottie answered, "Yes! They're re-running the tests, but the doctor thinks she's in full remission!" 

Louis' heart thrummed happily, "Okay! Good! This is good!"

His doorbell rang, and he walked to the door and peeked through the peep hole. 

A man in a very expensive black suit with an earpiece stood guard for a blonde man with a suitcase in his hand. Louis cursed Zayn's mystery guest to hell for having his cronies show up now, but he opened the door and motioned them in anyway. 

He sighed into the phone, "Hey, gotta go love, call me as soon as it's official." 

They said their 'I love you's' and Louis disconnected the call and smiled at the men, "Hello, I'm Louis. You must work for...."

The blonde man spoke, "Our client requested we bring you these documents to sign prior to their stay with you." 

Louis grumbled unhappily. He was the definitions of 'Curiosity killed the cat' and not knowing who was going to be living with him for two whole months was killing him. 

The darker featured man bit back a mischievous smile, "That was a nice try."

The blonde man extended his hand to Louis, "I'm Niall, I represent your future guest legally." He motioned to the other man, "That is Liam, he's usually with our client as a personal bodyguard, but at this time he is serving as a witness." 

Louis sighed, "Well have a seat over there and I'll make some tea." 

Niall and Liam made their way to his living room and sat awkwardly on his couch. Louis couldn't help but realize how out of place their luxury suits seemed in his humble little living area.

After they had their tea prepared they all set their mismatched mugs on the coffee table and Niall opened his briefcase and pulled out a gigantic packet of paperwork then placed it carefully away from the tea mugs on the coffee table in four separate stacks. 

"Holy shit." Louis mumbled under his breath, but Liam and Niall both chuckled. 

Niall had a very cute lopsided smile, "Just a bit of paperwork."

Louis laughed nervously, "You gonna need my finger prints and a blood sample too?" 

Niall froze in place as he pulled a box out of the suitcase.

Louis' eyes zeroed in on the box which was a sample kit for blood, finger prints, and hair. 

He looked up at Niall's face, "You've got to be shitting me....is this _client_ serious?" 

Liam jumped in sharply, "This wasn't his idea. This is the only way his management agreed to give him _some_ sort of small freedom. He didn't even want the damned NDA."

Louis' eyes lit up, "So it's a he then?"

Liam winced, "Fuck."

Niall gave Liam a sidelong glance, "Liam, please just witness." 

Liam pretended to zip his lips. 

Louis' threw up his arms, "Oh for fooks' sake just give me the damned papers and take my blood or whatever." 

Niall handed him the first packet, "This is just a general NDA, it states that you will not reveal the identity of our client to anyone without our clients explicit consent. You will not photograph, draw, or speak of our client and his stay here with you to anyone for a period of ten years. After the ten year period you will be allowed to disclose limited information, enough to write a book about and do a few interviews if you wish, but the remainder of the information will remain undisclosed until a period of twenty years. This information is disclosed and specified in the documentation."

Louis skimmed through and then signed and initialed the first giant packet. 

Niall pointed to the second one next to it, "This is your copy."

Niall put the third and fourth packet down, "These are the specifications and limitations you must meet while our client is in your care."

Louis raised an eyebrow, "Such as?" 

"You will not bring dates or friends home, you will feed our client a minimum of 3 home-cooked meals every day: once in the morning, once in the afternoon, once in the evening. You will make sure our client remains hydrated and have healthy snacks on hand. You will use the weekly allowance of three thousand dollars to buy groceries and provide our client with toiletries and at the end of the week you may keep any remaining funds-"

"This is in addition to the 200K?"

Niall nodded, "Yes." 

Louis read through the packet which had nonsense things like, "Don't wax the client's eyebrows in his sleep." and "Don't change out his shampoo with Nair." 

Louis blinked slowly as he read through the list, "Bastard!" 

Niall raised an eyebrow, "Is something in the packet to your disliking?" 

Louis leaned back and crossed his arms, "Only that I'm going to kill my best friend."

Niall's eyes widened, "Please do not commit any felonies while our client is in your care.......I'll send you an addendum to sign." 

Louis rolled his eyes, "You shove it, I wasn't being literal. My best mate is just a twat who decided to apparently share with 'the client' a lot of our childhood and teen year stories. Where do I sign?"

Niall pointed, "initial here, here, and here. Sign there, there.....there and there." 

He pointed to the fourth packet, "This is your packet." 

Niall pulled out two more smaller documents, "This is the paperwork about your pay and benefits during our client's stay."

Louis eyes widened

****-One-Hundred Thousand will be wired to client upon completion of all required paperwork, a 2nd wire of an additional one-hundred thousand will be provided upon the completion of the clients stay. -3,000 expense budget for client will be provided on the blue card weekly, any unused funds will go to the host  
-1500 personal care budget will be provided bi-weekly to host for any recreational or attire necessities.  
-client's familial healthcare needs will be covered and prior debt cleared 

He re-read the last one over and over again and again. His eyes stung with tears, he couldn't speak. 

Niall looked at Liam and Liam studied Louis. Liam leaned forward, "Sign it love. It's real." 

Louis' hand trembled as he signed the paper.

Niall handed him the copy, "Now I just need the samples." 

Louis nodded numbly and waited for Niall to take the samples he needed and then waited for them to leave before breaking down in tears. 

Whoever this mystery person was they were already his superhero. 

Some hours later Louis sat curled up on the couch with his favorite blanket and cup of tea. He called Zayn, "Did you tell him to pay my mum's medical bills?"

Zayn sounded surprised, "What? H-they did that?"

Louis licked his lips anxiously, "Yeah, he did. Don't worry his body guard fessed up on his gender." 

Zayn was quiet, "Wow....I mean I told him your mum was sick and how you were working a lot and living off Ramen and shit....but....I never thought."

Louis smiled, "Whoever he is, he's an amazing person in my book." 

Zayn was quiet for a moment, then he smiled, "He is great, but be careful okay? I won't be in town when he shows up so I won't be able to do introductions or anything.”

Louis shrugged, “I’ll be okay. You have a showcase or something?”

“Photo shoot for GQ.”

Louis balked, “Shut the fuck up! Seriously? You didn’t tell me!”

Zayn laughed, “Well I was going to bring you with, but now you have to do nesting or whatever it is you do to prepare for guests.”

Louis frowned, “Laundry and cleaning, I’m a proper Cinderella.” He grinned, “Well bring me a souvenir.”

Zayn chuckled, “You mean an autograph from the makeup artist.”

“I like my collection okay!” Louis defended, “Be safe. I love you.”

“You too.”

Louis spent the rest of the day cleaning with music blaring through his surround sound, it wasn’t one of the selling features of the house...well that and Zayn somehow talked the seller into selling it to him for a tenth of the value of a beachfront house with a private area of the beach and a beautiful deck out back and a small recordings studio in the back room. 

Zayn had never told him the details and Louis hadn’t been too excited to ask.

He went to bed exhausted but satisfied with his work and woke up to the sun shining into his room from his bay window with a view of the ocean. 

He looked at the view and frowned deciding that he really needed to ask Zayn exactly how he got this house for him for a measly 30k mortgage. 

His monthly payments were small and made up for the hefty price of insurance. 

He did his morning stretches and then curled up on the couch with his lyrics book. It was an old worn out notebook which contained all of his song ideas and even some poems. It was his greatest treasure, a window to his souls, and it had been a gift from his mum. 

He wrote for a while and checked his phone a few times until finally his mums picture popped up on his screen. 

He answered the call and her soft, lovely voice came through the line, “Hey Loubear.”

“Mum!”

He could hear her smile, “Mum is all good.”

A wave of relief washed over him and tears sprung to his eyes, “Oh, mum.....that’s-“ His voice broke, “Wonderful. It’s wonderful mum.”

They talked for a long while catching up and sharing stories and talking about the newest additions to the family, Earnest and Doris. 

They had all been shocked when they found out a couple of years back that his mum was expecting, none more than his step father, Dan, but it had soon turned into full blown excitement. Dan had gotten a second job and Lottie and Fizzy had volunteered to get part time jobs to help out with the cost of two additional members. 

Phoebe and Daisy were over the moon to know there was going to be another set of twins in the family and it had been great......and then his mum had gone to her 3D ultrasound and her OBGYN had remained silent and left the room to get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. Louis had been watching from video chat through Lottie's phone, his heart barely beating. 

They had feared that the babies were dead. 

The doctors then gave all of them a look full of empathy and informed them that they would need to run more tests but that it looked like their mum had a tumor. 

Two weeks later they confirmed it was a malignant tumor and had recommended that she terminate the pregnancy and begin radiation immediately. 

His mum and Dan had taken a trip away from the kids together and come back with the decision to keep the babies and wait until after they were born to start her treatment. The doctors had advised strongly against it, informing them it was likely the cancer could spread to the babies but they stood firm. 

The rest of the pregnancy had been very costly and very closely monitored. 

 

Louis had wanted to fly back home, wanting to be there in case anything happened and to help out, but both Dan and his mum had insisted that he needed to start living his life and they would let him know if he needed to come home. 

He had saved up everything he could and flown out for the twins' birth and stayed for a few weeks while his mum recovered and got to hold her hand during her first chemo session. Flying back to LA had been so hard. He still woke up in the middle of the night sometimes, crying because he had missed his mum's death. 

She had gotten better and he'd finally had some peace, but just a few months later the cancer was back. Louis prayed to whoever was listening that this time the cancer would stay gone. 

Once he got off the phone with his mum he made himself a sandwich and wondered how the hell he was going to provide three home-cooked meals a day when he could barely make Ramen. He was a shit cook. 

He took a shower and decided he would go buy a cook book the next morning to try and prepare for his mystery guest's arrival, then he went to bed watching a rerun episode of Project Runway. 

A loud banging on the door startled him awake and he jolted up and looked around frantically. he looked out his window and saw that the full moon was still bright in the sky and it was still really, really, dark outside. He looked at the time on his phone and groaned. _3:00 AM_ He wondered who the hell was knocking at his door at three in the fucking morning. 

He got up from the bed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands as the loud banging continued, "I'm coming!" 

The banging stopped. 

He yawned and stretched as he walked towards the front door before realizing he was butt naked. 

He threw his head back in exasperation and swore that if it was one of his friends drunk at his doorstep he was going to tuck them into his couch and then smother them in their sleep. 

He called out, "One sec! Be there in a minute!" 

He walked back into his room and grabbed his black silk and lace robe and slipped it on then walked sleepily to the door and opened it. 

Louis eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. 

Standing on his door step was Harry Styles. Harry-fucking-Styles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment :D


	3. Harry-fucking-Styles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally meets his mystery guest.

He wore ripped up black skinny jeans and a white top, his hair was tied up in a wild bun at the top of his head. One guitar case was slung over his shoulder and the other rested on his rolling suitcase on his other side. The moonlight shining bright behind him gave him an angelic glow and even with it being night time he could see how fucking beautiful his eyes and cheekbones and lips......Louis snapped his mouth shut and swallowed....he had to be dreaming....right? It had to be a dream. There was no way Harry-fucking-Styles was at his doorstep. 

Harry stood in the door way blinking, just blinking. I mean how the hell could he do more than just blink? What was he supposed to say to the angel standing inside of the house? He wondered how there were eyes that blue.....that beautiful......and for the sake of all that was good and fair in the world why was any man that beautiful allowed to open the door in a lacy silk robe? How was that fair? How was he supposed to function? 

Harry had heard Zayn mention his best friend Louis a few times since he'd become his tattoo artist and then friend, but somehow along the course of the years he'd found himself _asking_ about Louis, wanting to know every story, liking Louis more and more with every story or bit of information, without ever having met the guy or seen a picture of him. 

When Harry was given a deadline for his next album he'd called Zayn to bitch about his writing block, Zayn had suggested he get away from it all and he had remember Zayn mentioning on their last session that Louis was an Air BNB host now. Zayn had laughed at him at first saying there was no way he was throwing Harry to the tiny evil Minx because Louis would eat him alive, but Harry had insisted telling Zayn in truth how much he needed to get away and feel like a real person again, and Zayn had caved. 

Harry was pretty sure he was in love with Louis Tomlinson before ever meeting him, but now, now he was certain.

Harry licked his lips and Louis eyes flashed down to his mouth wondering how the hell his dreams had gotten this good and this vivid? I mean he could _smell_ the delicious specimen standing in his doorway.....a mixture of sandalwood, mint and something that couldn't be extracted or manufactured and had Louis regretting wearing nothing but a silk robe to open the door.

He begged his prick to stay down, promised it all kinds of rewards later, because as much as he wanted this to be a dream, none of his dreams could be this good. 

He took a deep breath, "I'm guessing you're my guest for the next two months? You're about a bit early Curly." 

He mentally slapped his face as he heard the nickname escape him, but he couldn't help it, not with all the wild loose curls falling out of his bun in an untamed mess. An adorable, untamed mess. 

Harry licked his lips again nervously and nodded, "Uh...Louis right?" 

Louis nodded and stepped back allowing the door to open enough to let Harry in. He couldn't believe that Harry-fucking-Styles was walking into his house. He was going to kill Zayn...he mumbled, "A little famous and up and coming my ass!...."

Harry cleared his throat, "Um, what?" 

Louis grinned, "Oh, nothing, um, I'm going to go put on some proper clothes okay? Feel free to sit or whatever." 

He forced himself to not run to his bedroom but instead walked at a slow pace, and remembered not slam the door when he was finally in his room but instead closed it lightly....but once the door was closed he ran to his bed and threw himself onto his mattress pushing his face into a pillow and screaming as loud as he could. 

After he got it out of his system he walked to his drawers and pulled out his low-hip sweats and checked himself out in the mirror, realizing he was a lunatic for trying to tempt the womanizing superstar standing in his entryway but shrugged and walked back out anyway.

Harry cursed Zayn for not warning him.....I mean the guy walked around with sex hair and his body, although lithe, was also powerful.... lined with lean muscles, and his ass.....jeez...Harry was pretty sure he could bounce a quarter off of it. 

Louis gave him an easy smile, "I didn't expect you for another week." 

Harry blushed, "Um, yeah....I'm sorry...I,um, I just had to get away..." His voice trailed off as he watched Louis defined back as he made his way to the small kitchen area. 

In truth Harry had intended to wait until the assigned arrival date, but when Niall had called him giving him the all clear on Louis' background check, drug panel, and STD panel, he had hopped online and bought the first ticket over. He'd been waiting years to meet Louis....and yes he did realize how creepy it would be to admit it out-loud.....so he wasn't going to.

Louis called over his shoulder, "Do you want tea? Water? A snack?" 

Harry shook his head and then realized Louis wasn't looking at him, "Um, no....Hey, I, um, I'm sorry for showing up unexpected." Nervousness prickled his skin as he wondered if he'd just made Louis think he was a bratty superstar, just like every news outlet and magazine suggested.

Louis grabbed a cup and poured himself some water and turned to face Harry as he leaned back on one of his counters, "No big deal, just unexpected. I know plans change." Louis knew he was full of shit because if it had been anyone else in the world, besides his mum of course, he would have told them to go to hell and shove it. 

Harry untied his hair and ran his hands through it in an attempt to comfort himself and was happy when it helped some, "I know it's late, I'm sorry." 

Louis tried not to drool at the hair ruffling thingy and forced himself to take another drink of water because he was sure acting super **thirsty** , "It's okay. Do you want to see your room?" 

Harry nodded, not quite trusting his voice. Louis set his glass down and motioned for Harry to follow him. 

Harry's room was right next to his room and also had a bay window and sliding door leading to his back deck. Harry smiled, "Your house is very beautiful." 

Louis had heard Harry's interviews before, but the soft, slow, deep way he spoke was ten times more entrancing in person. It made Louis feel like each and every word he spoke was chosen especially for him to hear, "Thank you." He muttered. 

He motioned around the room and showed him where all the switches and remotes were as well as the closet and other storage available. Then he guided him back into the hallway and motioned to the door across the hall from him, "That's the bathroom, we both share it, I hope that's okay?"

Harry nodded, "Yes, thank you." 

Louis gave the mega superstar a side-long glance wondering if this guy was for-real and how the hell the guy standing next to him was the same guy whoring around through Hollywood. 

Louis yawned again, "That's my door, if you need me, just let me know......umm, make yourself at home. I'll give you a full tour tomorrow if that's okay?" 

Harry smiled, "Yes, of course, I'm sorry once again."

Louis rolled his eyes, "Curly, don't make me make an 'I'm sorry' jar okay?" There he was being presumptuous and using the damned nickname again.....but then he realized Harry didn't seem to mind.....and he liked the idea of having a nickname for Harry, it made him more real and less mythical music nymph.

Harry's eyebrows furrowed, "What is that?" 

Louis fought to remember what he had said and then realized harry was asking about the jar, "Like a swear jar, but you put a dollar in every time you apologize."

Harry laughed softly and Louis heart did somersaults. 

He groaned internally, _be still my whoring heart_ , "Alright Curly, see you in the morning."

Once Louis was back in his room he screamed into his pillow again, then he rolled over onto his back and looked at his ceiling completely and totally in shock. 

He closed his eyes after a while and the first thing he saw was those two green emerald pools looking at him.....he imagined those two pools looking up at him while his cock was- Louis stopped his train of thought. He needed to get that fantasy out of his head. It wasn't healthy, he couldn't make it awkward for Harry, not when he'd heard the sadness in his voice when he talked about needing to get away....he needed to get his lustful thoughts under control.

He rubbed his face with his palms and groaned as he realized he was acting like all those obsessed stalker-type fans and was objectifying and mind-fucking a man he didn't even know....he pouted as he thought about Zayn telling him he needed to get laid.

He glanced at his laptop and pushed his lips out thoughtfully. After a few moments he reached for it and grabbed the lube from his nightstand drawer. 

He pulled up a porn site and selected a video. After the cheesy intro, which he almost laughed at, things finally started to get interesting and Louis squirted a few drops of lube onto his right hand and started to work his half-hard length which after a few strokes became a full on hard-on. After a while he got onto his knees, setting the laptop in front of himself with the screen angled up and he lubed his fingers on his left hand and slipped then into his tight opening. 

He gasped at the sensation, it had been a while since he'd played with himself and he was close to cumming as soon as his fingers slipped inside.....but Louis didn't like to cum fast, he liked it slow, he liked to be teased and taken to the edge then left hanging, back to the edge and then.....he let out a soft moan as he worked himself....and then it wasn't two random strangers that were taking him higher....nope, his brain decided at that moment, as his eyes fluttered shut, to put an image in his brain of sliding into Harry's ass. He thrust harder into his hand at that image, feeling as his balls tightened and then gasping and moaning as sweet, sweet, release washed over every nerve of his body and his cum shot onto his hand and chest. 

He let himself fall forward, pressing his forehead into the sheets as he moved his hand from his sensitive cock and gasped for air. That invasive image had worked way too well. 

After a few minutes of feeling guilty he cleaned up and changed his sheets and then wrapped himself up in his blankets and let himself drift to sleep. 

He woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and fresh squeezed oranges. He blinked slowly as he heard a breathtaking voice singing in the kitchen, and not just any song, no, the damned god-like superstar with soul-stealing jade eyes was singing one of _his_ songs. 

Louis felt a fluttering panic in his stomach as he rushed out of bed and pulled on some basketball shorts that were slightly to big and hung really low on his hips and ran out into the living area and looked towards the kitchen. 

There, swaying his hips side to side with a spatula in his hand and nothing but a pair of pink, tight, boxer-briefs and his apron, stood Harry-fucking-Styles flipping pancakes as he sang Louis' song. 

Louis grabbed hold of the wall to keep his knees from giving out and then collected himself enough to announce his presence. 

He cleared his throat making Harry jump and spin around almost knocking over the glass pitcher of orange juice before barely catching it and setting it back on the counter and then turning to give Louis a sunshine and rainbows dimpled-smile that left him momentarily unable to breath. 

Starstruck was an understatement. 

Harry was no longer the stuttering insecure man he'd met last night, no, this Harry was bright and charismatic and had a glint of mischief in his eyes, "Hey! I'm almost done with breakfast. Zayn said you liked your eggs over-medium, is that right?" 

Louis walked towards the kitchen and settled on a stool at the breakfast bar, "You talked to Zayn?" 

Harry nodded, "Called him an hour ago, he was pretty angry since I woke him up, but he told me anyways. Tea or Coffee?"

Louis scratched the side of his head and then rubbed his right eye with his right-hand's fingertips, "Coffee in the morning, tea before bed." 

Harry made a mental note of it as he poured Louis a cup and then set a small glass of cream and a small bowl with sugar-cubes in it on the breakfast bar in front of Louis.

Louis let out a soft moan as the scent of bacon wafted his way again and Harry chuckled, "Almost done." 

"Aren't I supposed to be the one cooking for you according to the agreement or whatever?" 

Harry shrugged, "I like to cook, my manager put it in there because I 'shouldn't have to waste time with cooking'. I need to 'focus on my album' and all that. Besides, Zayn said your cooking was toxic and I don't feel like dying."

Louis was going to tie Zayn up by his balls and hang him off the front of his house as a warning, "I was going to pick up a cookbook." He said sheepishly. 

Harry turned his head to look at him over his shoulder, "I'd rather do the cooking if you don't mind, you're welcome to do my laundry though.....I hate it....and I don't actually remember how..." 

Louis smirked, "You have 'people' for that?" Harry winced visibly, "I know, I know, I'm a brat." Louis shrugged, "Umm no, if I didn't have to do chores I wouldn't, but I also can't stand the idea of someone messing with my organization or cleaning something wrong so I'd never hire anyone." 

Harry laughed, "A true dilemma indeed. You have a beautiful voice by the way."

Louis blushed and looked away, "Um, thanks, but you're welcome to take the CD out and put on some good music."

Harry gave him a blank look, "This is good music. I've been listening to it all morning."

Louis raised an eyebrow, "There are only three songs on it."

Harry grinned, "Yup, and now I know the lyrics so I can sing along." 

Louis laughed, "Yeah, I saw your little performance." 

It was Harry's turn to blush but he shrugged, "I like to dance while I cook, kind of channeling my inner Tom Cruise in Risky Bussiness." 

Louis laughed harder, "Well, no dancing on my coffee table okay?" 

"Can't make promises I might not keep." Harry winked and Louis all but swallowed his tongue, Harry continued, "If you have another CD I'd love to hear it." 

Louis hesitated but then remembered Zayn told him this could launch his career- it had nothing at all to do with the way his stomach fluttered and his heart hammered at the sound of Harry singing _his_ songs. Nope. Not at all, this was purely business and that was that. 

Louis went over to his system, "I don't have any more CD's but I have some songs on my phone," He plugged his phone in using the aux cord and then put on his playlist, "Let me know if you want me to turn it off."

Harry flipped another pancake and grabbed a mug for himself and poured himself some coffee too, then he turned and leaned back against the counter across from the breakfast bar and beamed at Louis, "Thank you for taking me in early, I'll tell Niall to pay you for the extra time." 

Louis shook his head, "No, trust me, you've done enough. It's the least I could do with what you did to help my mum." 

"I have to admit I stalked her for a while before doing it, wanted to make sure she was a good person.....I know that sounds shitty, to not help someone with cancer just because they've made bad choices, but I just.....I like helping good people, and your mum....she seems lovely."

Louis swelled with pride, "She is. She's my best friend." He blushed furiously as he realized he'd probably sounded like a three-year-old, but Harry's smile softened, reaching his eyes, becoming more.....just more, so much more, and Louis wanted to make him smile like that again.

The next song to play off his playlist over the surround sound was a song he'd titled 'Just Hold On', it was a song he'd written when his mom had begun her battle with cancer.

Harry stilled, these were the lyrics he'd seen on the canvas that now hung in his bedroom in his New York flat, they were produced with a techno-club vibe which made him crave hearing and acoustic version of the song more. He turned to stare at Louis, "This song......this song picked me up from a really dark place...."

Louis' eyes widened as he remembered Zayn saying he'd bought the canvas with his lyrics on it, "You like it?" 

Harry scoffed, "You have no idea....I mean I wish I could write music like this. Although, I hope you don't take offense to this, but I always imagined the song in a slow heart-felt acoustic version, didn't expect it to be a club song." 

"Umm, originally....orignally it was acoustic, but when I tried to sell it that way I was told it would never make the radio that way, too depressing.....I wrote it when my mum....when she was starting chemo." 

"Would you sing the original for me later?"

Louis blanched, "You want _me_ to sing it? Um, No, sorry, can't."

"Why?" 

"Don't want to."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"So you're a morning person then?" Louis changed the subject and Harry sighed but decided to push further at a different time, "Yes. I have a routine."

Louis added three sugar cubes and a splash of cream to his coffee and grabbed the spoon mixing it in, "And this routine begins??" 

Harry shrugged, "Around 4AM. Morning yoga, a run, a shower, and then breakfast."

Louis grimaced, "And as your assistant will I be required to follow this routine with you?"

Harry laughed, "No." 

Louis let out a relieved sigh, "Oh thank God!"

Harry turned the stove off and they sat down at the breakfast bar and ate together, side by side, bodies turned slightly towards one another, and they talked. After a while Louis forgot that the person he was talking to was Harry-fucking-Styles and he stopped lusting.....well not really, but he found that he could possibly befriend him.

Louis showed Harry around the rest of the house and gave him a spare key to the house and the studio, "I have to go into work, I emailed my resignations when Zayn asked me to have you but I didn't set my last day until your arrival date.....I'll have to keep my shifts at the bar this weekend though, otherwise I'm 80 percent sure Ollie will poison my beer the next time I go in for a drink." 

Harry's eyes widened, "You're a bar keep? Would you mind if I swung by?" 

Louis was slipping his shoes on and tying them but stopped at Harry's question, "Wouldn't that be, um, risky, since you're trying to lay low?" 

Harry smiled, "I have my ways....if you don't mind." 

Louis shrugged, "Up to you. I can write down the address for you, it's nothing grand, a hole in the wall really." 

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Hours later Louis stood wiping the bar down again and looking up with excitement at the door every time the bell sounded and then closely after feeling the disappointment when it wasn't Harry. He wondered what the hell was wrong with him for the 20th time that night and then a familiar voice called to him, "Oi! You there, bar keep!" 

Louis snapped his eyes to the far end of the bar, "Stan?! Holy shite! I didn't know you were comin' to visit!" He walked over and poured Stan a shot.

Stan grinned, "Well, it wasn't part of the plan, actually the boys are kind of angry with me....I'm supposed to be in Vegas at a Bachelor party....but being this close and not coming to see you.....well, I'm just not that strong." 

Louis felt a familiar heat shoot down his spine, "Oh." Stan threw back the shot and then wiped at his mouth, "So what time do you get off?" The suggestive tone in his words was not lost on Louis. 

He thought about saying no, I mean Stan always seamed to come and go as he pleased, and if it wasn't for how long they'd been friends he would have told him to sod off long ago, but it was Stan, and they'd known each other forever.....they'd been each others first...everything, but Stan wasn't out and he wasn't going to be. 

Louis leaned forward, "How's that fiance of yours?" 

Stan fired back, "Are you really not coming to my wedding?" 

Louis clenched his jaw, "Are you really still asking me to come?" 

They stared unblinking at each other for a while and then Stan smiled, "So do you think Ollie would let you leave a little early?" 

Louis hated how easily Stan talked him into going to bed with him again, it was hard to resist all the history, all the feelings, but each time without fail, he felt like the shittiest person in the world afterward. Amanda was a nice girl and carrying Stan's baby. 

Louis shook his head, "We both know it's a bad idea, we agreed this needed to stop, we agreed that last time was the last time." 

Stan brushed his fingertips over the top of Louis hand, making him inhale sharply, "I get married next weekend.....this time.....this time will be the last. I just....I need to have you...One. Last. Time." he punctuated his word as he brushed up Louis arm. 

Louis pulled back, feeling off balance, "Gotta work. Be back in a few." 

He made himself busy refilling drinks and making shots for tables. 

A man with a mustache and a hat called him over, "Bar keep?" Louis walked over to him and smiled, "What's your poison?" 

The man peered up at him with a smile and Louis gasped when he saw those soul-piercing green eyes. Harry whispered conspiratorially, "It's me!" 

Louis gaped at him, "Oh my God, is that a fake nose?" 

Harry grinned proudly, "Did A pretty good job didn't I?" Louis grinned, "You look bloody strange. Good job, I like the mustache, very posh." 

The giggle that erupted from Harry send Louis heart into a frenzy, and Louis body fizzed like champagne bubbles, "Can I make you a drink?" 

Harry nodded, "Yes, I'll take a Shirley Temple." 

Louis raised an eyebrow, "Really? Didn't expect that."

Stan moved over to the stool next to Harry, "Hello, I'm Stan." He extended his hand to Harry and Louis watched as Harry smiled and took it, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes, "Hello, I'm Todd." 

"Todd?" Stan narrowed his eyes, "Good to meet you Todd, you're from over the pond like us then?" Harry gave him a polite nod, "Yes." 

"How do you know my mate Lou?" Stan inquired petulantly.

Louis rushed to make Harry's drink and came back to place it in front of him and motioned to Stan, "Can I talk to you for a moment? In the back?" 

Stan gave Harry a triumphant look, "See you later **Todd**." 

Louis walked Stan to the back room of the bar and gave Ollie an apologetic smile. Ollie knew all about their history and frown disapprovingly and rolled his eyes. 

Louis walked into the small storage room and closed the door behind him, but before he could spin around to yell at Stan, Stan had him pressed against the door, "So you found yourself a boy then?" Louis felt his breath hot against his ear and he shivered, "Stan, back off." 

Stan stepped back and Louis turned to face him, "He's just a customer." 

Stan laughed, "He seemed mighty protective." 

Louis' eyebrows shot up into his hairline, "What? Are you mad? I don't even know him that well." Stan stepped towards him and Louis stepped back until his back pressed against the door, then Stan was pressed against him, pressing his lips against Louis', kissing him with hunger and haste. Then he pulled back slightly, "Come to my hotel when you get off....I'm staying at the Hilton...one last time please. Tell me you'll come. Please. I need you." 

Louis felt his head spinning, he wanted to say no, he wanted to be strong, but instead he found himself nodding feebly.

With that Stan pulled him gently out of the way and walked out.


	4. Handling Some Grimmy Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muahahaha

Louis called Zayn as he drove home the next morning, because that's what he did when things went wrong, he called Zayn. 

Zayn did a lot of cursing and yelling and scolding and then he hung up on Louis, only to call him a minute later, "I'm going to kill that little cunt! How dare he?! Fucking arsehole! If you sleep with him again I'm cutting your bloody prick off! For your own good!" 

Louis chewed on his fingernail, "I know! I know! God, I'm a sodding idiot! But trust me, it was better than the alternative." 

Zayn scolded, "Stop chewing your nails, also don't think I didn't notice you were smoking last time we spoke. What alternative?" 

Louis rolled his eyes but stopped chewing his nails anyways, "Molesting Harry-fucking-Styles. Jesus, I'm growing delusional with age."

Zayn coughed on the other end of the phone, choking, "You like Harry?" 

"What do you mean?! You have seen him right? He's bloody gorgeous! Thanks for the warning by the way." 

Zayn's voice got serious, "Are you okay Lou? Seriously? I can come home." 

Louis scoffed, "Bein' a bit dramatic aren't you? I'm fine." 

"You shouldn't be alone." 

Louis laughed, "I'm a big boy Zayn, plus I'm not alone, I have my super fancy guest. He likes my music, was dancing to it yesterday morning while he cooked breakfast in his skivvies. Let me tell you Zayn, that boy has to be one of the lost wonders of the world." 

Zayn laughed, "Paws off your ticket to the top." 

"Trust me, I know. Plus I've met my life quota on being 'the secret'. I'm done being a side thing Zayn." 

"Good. You deserve better Lou, you know that right? You're amazing." 

Louis shrugged, "I'm alright...but thanks mate. Hows the shooting going?" 

Zayn sighed, "Well the photographer has been busy so I've been kind of hanging around the hotel. Not much to do really." 

They talked until Louis pulled up to his driveway and then they said their goodbyes.

When Louis walked in the door Harry was sitting in the middle of the living room with his guitar in his lap and a notebook in front of him, "Hey, got rid of that writer’s block?" 

Harry barely looked at him, just nodded and gave a clipped, "Yep." In response. 

Louis closed the front door and set his keys on the counter, "Did I miss breakfast?" 

Harry motioned to the oven without looking up, "Saved you some." 

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, wondering where the hell the charming, singing, ray of morning sunshine from the previous morning had gone. 

Louis pressed his lips together and then motioned to the general direction of the bathroom, "I'm gonna hop in the shower and then I'll heat it up, thank you for saving me some."

Harry shrugged but remained silent. 

Louis shoulders slumped, he had been excited to come home and talk to Harry again, like they had the morning before, but it seemed like Harry couldn't give even half a moment to care that Louis was home. 

Louis jumped in the shower and scrubbed his skin, and then again as he remembered the way Stan had touched him, and then again when he saw Amanda’s picture pop up on his phone and hearing as he sweetly answered her call all while Louis was inside him, the familiar guilt settled in the pit of his stomach.

Then he cried in the shower, and the cries turned to sobs, and the sobs turned to trembling. He felt used and stupid and like an asshole all at once. 

By the time he got out of the shower his skin was scrubbed to an almost painful tenderness.

He dried off and walked into his room slipping on a pair of his comfy sweats and rolling the too-long bottoms up, exposing his ankles. Then he remembered Harry had asked him to sing 'Just Hold On' and he wanted to get Harry to smile at him, he felt like if he could just get one of _those_ smiles then he would feel better. 

Louis stepped into the living room with his guitar, "Hey, mind if I join? I changed my mind about singing 'Just Hold On' for you." 

Harry's eyes snapped up and the hints of _that_ smile started on his face but then he saw the hickeys on Louis' exposed neck and the scratch marks on his chest, and the simmering anger he'd felt turned into a full boil, "Don't you think his fiance would be a little upset knowing you were screwing her soon-to-be husband?" 

Louis took a step back as if he'd been struck, because that's what it felt like, like Harry had just stood up and punched him as hard as possible, "Excuse me?" 

"I overheard your conversation. How could you?" 

Louis face filled with pain and then quickly turned to anger, "Who the fuck.....You don't get to judge me. You don't know me. You think just because you have money and fame you're somehow better? Fuck you. Fuck you for acting all high and mighty when every fuckin' magazine talks about how many women you date and sleep with. Fuck you! You don't know me! If you think just because you've paid me you somehow own me or get a say in _my_ life, then you can take your money and get the fuck out!" 

Louis turned back around and stomped to his room and slammed the door, hands shaking, heart aching. 

He crawled into bed and cried into his pillow. 

About an hour later a soft knock woke him from his precarious sleep, he'd fallen asleep crying. Harry's voice came softly through the door, "May I come in?"

Louis reach over to his nightstand and grabbed his alarm clock yanking it free and throwing it angrily at the door in response.

He heard a soft laugh from Harry, "Okay, so I'll stay here, on the safe side for now.....Listen.....I'm sorry, I went wayyyy, wayyyy over the line. It wasn't my place to say anything and I'm sorry. I was just-" He stopped himself as he almost said 'I was just jealous,' instead he sighed, "I was just worried about you, and you seemed uncomfortable with him, and then you didn't come home all night, and I texted you, and....I was just worried." 

Louis perked up in bed, "You were worried?....About me?" 

Harry added quickly, "Well yeah, you're Zayn's best friend and he's mine, and I know he cares about you and he'd be really pissed if you got hurt and I didn't do anything to protect you." 

Louis felt a hint of disappointment but quickly squashed it, "You said really hurtful things.....but they were true.....I am a piece of shit." 

"I didn't say that! Louis I don't think that!" Harry defended. 

Louis rolled his eyes, "Calm down," Then sighing, "Come in." 

Harry opened the door and peeked his hand inside, expecting Louis to throw something at him, but Louis just laughed, "I'm not going to throw anything else." 

Harry stepped inside and took in Louis’ messy room and Louis, sitting in a mess of bedding with puffy red eyes and messy hair, and it made his heart ache and he felt even more like shit, "Oh Lewis, I didn't mean to make you cry! God I'm the worst guest ever....you probably want me to leave don't you? I won't blame you, and you can keep the money....god I-"

"Stop. Or I will throw something again." 

Harry pretended to zip his lips and stood near the door until Louis motioned to the edge of his bed, "You can sit down."

Harry took a tentative seat at the edge of Louis bed, the smell of Louis filled his nose and it took everything in him not to bury his face into the sheets and just take it in. 

Louis ran his hands through his hair, "You were right, what I did was wrong, but Stan and I, we have a lot of history-" Harry shook his head, "Louis, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I was in the wrong." Louis shrugged, "It's okay, I want you to understand."

Harry was quiet, mostly because he didn't trust himself to speak, Louis continued, "Plus this is a good segway to getting some 'get to know you' things out of the way.....I don't know if Zayn told you, but I'm gay." 

Harry nodded, "Not in so many words, he said you guys had dated, so I gathered." 

Louis nodded, "Yeah, well, Stan was the reason that Zayn and I didn't work out.....Stan and I were childhood friends like Zayn and I, but Zayn and I didn't really get super close until the end of high school. Anyways, Stan was the reason I figured out I was gay. He kissed me in the locker room after footie practice one day after everyone was gone, and I sort of freaked out, but I liked it, I mean I _really_ liked it. Anyways we snuck around for a couple of years but we both still had girlfriends, except I started to fall for him, really fall for him....and I came out because I thought then he would come out too and we could be together." 

Harry could see on Louis face where this story was going, "He didn't come out did he?" 

Louis shook his head, "No, he didn't, he teased me and called me names just like everyone else, stopped talking to me altogether. That's when Zayn and I became really close friends. Zayn punched the shit out of one of the Lacrosse players at school as he was hitting me. Don't get me wrong, I never went down without a fight, but I was half the size of most of the guys at my school so there was only so much I could do, but Zayn....Jesus he was a monster- in a good way. Pretty soon word got around that Zayn, captain of the Lacrosse team, was my protector and everyone left me alone."

Harry's respect for Zayn deepened even further, "He's pretty cool."

Louis smiled, "The coolest." Harry motioned to Louis, "So you and Zayn happened then?" 

Louis shook his head, "Yes, but then Stan showed up and he apologized and begged me for a chance and I still loved him....because I'm stupid....I still loved him. It wasn't all bad, before I came out, when we were sneaking around, he was always really sweet and would leave little notes in my locker, and we'd been best friends since we were kids....so I ended things with Zayn and...."

Harry clenched his jaw, he was determined to deck the hell out of Stan if he ever saw him again. Louis sighed, "And then he met Amanda and his parents were pressuring him about not having a girlfriend and anytime I brought out coming out he would say 'I'm not gay' and so he started to get serious with Amanda but still messed around with me, then Zayn moved out here and my mom told me to get the hell away from Stan, so I did."

Harry smiled, "Have I mentioned I love your mum?" 

Louis laughed, "Me too.....So what about you, what's your story? I was pretty unfair too. Are any of the stories true?"

Harry wanted to tell him the truth, that none of them were true, that he was gay too, that he loved Louis, but after hearing his story with Stan, any hope of getting to enjoy even just two months with him as his lover had left. He wouldn't do that to him, he had nothing to offer him but friendship, but he would be the best friend possible. He went for part of the truth, "No, most of my relationships are PR stunts, it gives me the whole rock-star vibe. I don't like it, but it does get album sells, everyone is always trying to figure out who I'm singing about." 

"So there aren't any muses?" Louis asked curious, Harry shrugged and gave him a shy smile, "Well there's one person I've written a few songs about but....it was just a crush...didn't even really know the person." 

Louis smiled, "Ah, I see, I'm sure whoever it was would be over the moon to have you if you just introduced yourself." 

Harry's eyes flashed to Louis' lips and then away to the window where the tide moved in and out on the white sand, "Want to go for a swim?" 

"Now?" 

Harry nodded, "Yeah. Let's wash this morning away, it was icky. I want us to be good friends. The best of friends as a matter of fact." 

Louis crinkled his nose, "Zayn might murder you if you try and replace him as best friend." 

Harry grinned, "We could just be like The Three Amigos." Louis laughed, "Or the Three Musketeers." 

Harry countered, "What about the The Three Stooges?" Louis scowled, "Maybe the two stooges and their overlord." 

"Call me Overlord Harry then." 

Louis threw a pillow at him, "I'm the overlord!" and they both laughed. Louis felt his chest loosen as if a weight had been lifted. 

They went for a swim and then Harry asked about surfing and Louis informed him he wasn't about to get eaten by sharks and Harry argued he would fight the sharks off for Louis and that's how they had ended up in wet suits two ours later failing miserably at surfing on their brand new boards, and then finally deciding they would have to look into an instructor. 

Harry had made Pasta Primavera for lunch and they'd sat around with their guitars as Harry exchanged ideas for lyrics with Louis, back and forth and back and forth. Then Louis would get ready for work and Harry would meet him at the bar in disguise and hang out until the end of his shift and they'd go home and watch a movie or Project runway/ Top Model reruns together.

After a few days they fell into a routine, and then his originally planned arrival day arrived and Louis realized that Harry's arrival date coincided with Stan's wedding date. Six months ago when he'd received the invite in the mail he'd planned to get plastered on the day of and sleep the day away, but he found himself being just fine. 

Zayn had gotten talked into doing a shoot for his upcoming issue on Inked Magazine and had been invited to be guest judge on Ink Master, so he still hadn't come home.

They had woken up on the couch together, somehow snuggled together and Louis was still reminding himself not to think about it. 

They were sitting at his small high-top dining room table when three loud knock sounded on the door, followed by two less loud knocks, and then three louder knocks. 

Harry grimaced, "That would be Liam and my manager." Louis' mouth dropped, "Your manager? Nick Grimshaw is here? At my door? Are you serious?" Louis tried to comb his hair down and then looked down at his body which was in furry pajama pants and a Metallica t-shirt, "Oh God! I have to change!" 

Harry frowned and then pushed his bottom lip out in a pout, "This is not the reaction I got at all." 

Louis scrambled towards his room, "Well you woke me up at 3 in the morning so you're lucky you're even alive," he snickered and added teasingly, "and you're a bratty superstar."

Harry glared after him but then broke out in laughter as he heard him stumble in the hallway. 

Harry went and opened the door and Nick stood there with a hoodie and sunglasses on. He lowered his sunglasses to look at Harry over the top of them, "So do you normally open the door instead of having the help do it?" 

Harry let out an exasperated sigh, "He is not 'the help' and I wouldn't call him that unless you want to end up kicked in the sack." 

Nick scowled, "And he's violent? Liam, I thought you said his background check was clear."

Liam rolled his eyes from where he stood behind Nick and then mimed a gun with his hand and pretended to shoot himself, and then mimed a knife and pretended to stab his ear drums out. 

Nick pushed his sunglasses back up and crossed his arms, "Well? Are you going to invite me in?" 

Liam chided, "Don't do it Harry! Once you invite a vampire in it's for life." 

Nick uncrossed his arms and elbowed Liam in the stomach, but Liam just grinned, "Your puny elbows can't penetrate my rock solid abs."

Nick stomped the heal of his foot onto Liam's toes and Liam yelped, "Asshole!" 

Harry sighed, "Would you two stop it, come in before you disturb the whole neighborhood." 

They both stepped inside just as Louis was coming back out in a pair of bluejeans rolled up a the bottom and a black Polo shirt, "Oh hello, I'm Louis." He gave a cute little waive that made Harry smile and Liam noticed immediately. His eyes narrowed and he gave Harry a knowing look, which made Harry blush and shake his head. 

Nick shook Louis hand and then turned his attention to me, "So I just want to say, it is **NOT** okay for you to disappear and tell your dogs not to tell me or anyone else where you are. Do you know how worried we all were? What if you got kidnapped, or killed, or worse?"

Harry scrunched his nose up, "What's worse than dying exactly?" 

Liam muttered, "We may be dogs but at least we're not bitches like you." 

Nick grabbed an apple and threw it straight at Liam's face, Liam caught it effortlessly and took a bite of it, "Gee, thanks Nicky, I was really feeling a snack." 

Nick rubbed his temples with his fingertips, "I shoulda just been a preacher. At least then I could give up on the lost causes."

Harry laughed, "I don't think that's how preachers work Nick."

"So have you gotten any work done?" 

Harry nodded, "Yes actually, Lou has been helping me write and I've got a few songs now."

Nick turned his attention to Louis, eyeing him up and down, "And what does 'Lou' know about music?" 

Harry opened his mouth but it was Louis who spoke, no longer feeling infatuated with Nick, but instead very much irritated, "I have a Bachelors in Music Production and a Master of Music degree as well, you stuck up dick. Talk down about me again and Imma shove a real stick up your arse." 

Harry's mouth was gaping open and Liam was laughing so hard his sides hurt. Nick raised one eyebrow a small amused smile played on his lips, "Louis Tomlinson. I'll have to remember that name." 

Harry's eyes went as wide as his mouth. Nick never bothered to remember most people's names."

Nick pulled out a binder from his bag and handed it to Harry, "Choose venues, and choose promotion material. Liam is staying with you." 

Harry shook his head, "No he isn't." 

Nick rolled his eyes and threw his head back, "Why am I being punished with difficult children?" Nick looked back down at Harry, "Fine, but he's staying nearby, as in , within a mile radius. I need to know you're safe." 

Harry sighed, "Fine."

Nick handed Louis his business card, “Keep him out of trouble Louis Tomlinson, and I will owe you one.”

Both Nick and Liam left soon after and Louis stood staring at the business card in shock, “Wow.”

Harry felt a pang of jealousy at the admiration in Louis voice and he swiped the business card away from Louis, “You don’t need that.”

Louis spun to face Harry, “Oi! Give that here!” Harry lifted his hand above his hand putting the business card out of Louis’ reach just as Louis lunged to grab it. 

Louis body crashed against Harry’s but he was too angry to notice, “Give it back Harold! If he helps me out I could be writing for all the big artist!”

Harry pouted, “I’m a big artist, write songs for me.”

Louis froze, looking up to scan Harry’s face, his body still flush against Harry’s muscular chest, “What?” He put his hand down and put it flat against Harry and started to push away, “Harry, this isn’t a joke....Don’t tease me like this.... everyone knows that the only person beside you who you’ve let write your songs is Ed Sheehan.”

Harry wrapped his arm around Louis lithe waist and placed a finger under Louis’ chin as he swiped his thumb across Louis bottom lip, “And Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis’ eyes were wide and his lips parted slightly with a breathless sound. 

Harry felt as Louis stopped pushing away and his small hands instead gripped Harry’s shirt as if holding on for dear life. 

Harry tried to tell himself that it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t fair to Louis, but the smell of mint and something sweet on Louis breath gave him a heady feeling that he craved more of. 

He leaned down and slowly kissed Louis and then pulled back giving Louis a chance to smack him or shove him away but Louis eyes were closed, his long dark lashes brushing his cheeks, so Harry kissed him again, this time with more pressure, with more need. 

Louis’ lips parted, pliant against Harry’s tongue. He’d never been one to let himself be kissed, he tended to be the aggressor, the instigator, the one in control, but in that moment he was melting like ice on a hot day in Harry’s arms.

Louis moaned into the kiss and Harry all but growled, lifting Louis and grabbing one of his thighs to place around his waist. 

Louis felt as his back was pushed against a wall and Harry deepened the kiss. 

Louis felt a panick in his body, this felt too good, this felt too right. He could let himself be this stupid. Harry was out of his league. Harry was his ticket to success. Harry was off limits. Zayn had trusted Louis. Harry was dangerous. Harry was....Harry was a damned good fucking kisser and apparently had a giant cock because Louis could feel its hard length pressed against him.

Louis needed to stop this before it was too late.

Louis grabbed a handful of Harry’s hair and before he could talk himself out of it yanked hard. 

He’d intended to ‘pull’ some sense into Harry but Harry just ground his hips against Louis as he let his head fall back exposing his throat and letting out a loud moan.

Louis eyes went dark, his prick stood at full attention, and he practically felt as the last bit of control he had **snapped**.


	5. Your Taste On My Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up beside you I’m a loaded gun! ⚠️ warning! If you’re uncomfortable with steamy scenes I would skip.

Harry had imagined the first time he’d make love to Louis hundreds of times, he’d imagined that he’d take his time with Louis, that he’d be the one in charge....but then Louis had pulled his hair so hard it almost made him wince, and his body had reacted to it with a moan and a throbbing need unlike any he’d ever experienced.

Louis kissed his neck and left a small possessive mark by his jawline and then he slid down Harry’s body and pushed Harry away. 

Harry’s head fell forward as he stumbled back and the feeling of rejection was almost crippling, but then he saw the fire in Louis eyes, and Louis’ extended hand, and Harry’s heart hammered as he took the outstretched hand, letting Louis guide him to his bedroom. 

Once he stepped through the door way Louis shoved Harry back onto the unmade bed. 

Seeing Harry on his bed had a jarring effect on Louis as he remembered _who_ exactly he was about to fuck. 

Harry saw the doubt flicker across Louis’ face and he quickly leaned up and removed his shirt and unbuttoned his pants hastily kicking them off. 

Louis licked his lips as all the lean muscle and tattooos were exposed. He was a sucker for tattooed guys. Louis’ eyes scanned Harry with an almost cat-like, sinister yet playful, appreciation, “Quite eager aren’t we.” 

Harry’s cock twitched at that look and the husky tone in Louis’ voice. He nodded unabashedly, “Yes.” 

Louis felt a tightening in his chest he chose to ignore. Instead he smirked, “Well then, take those tight little briefs off and move up the bed.”

Harry did as he was told and Louis’ forced himself not to drool at the gorgeous, gigantic, prick that rested against Harry’s abdomen, hard and ready for attention. 

Louis nodded, “Good boy. Now stay there and wait.”

Harry frowned, “Wait?”

Louis nodded, “Yes. Gotta go get supplies.”

Louis walked back to the door, still fully dressed, and to the bathroom down the hall. He opened his storage closet and grabbed condoms, lube, and decided to leave the toys behind until he figured out what Harry was into. 

He walked back into the room and frowned at the now half hard rod between Harry’s legs. That wouldn’t do, but first....Louis gave Harry a serious look, “When was the last time you got tested.”

Harry gave him a confused look, “What?”

“Tested, you know, for like STDs and shit.”

Harry blushed, “Um, oh, I uh....”

Louis eyes narrowed, “You don’t get tested? Are you serious?”

Harry’s mind was going through a list of expletives, he hadn’t planned for this, he was so stupid. In his head Louis had melted for him the moment he’d seen him and jumped in his arms and asked him to have his way with him. 

Louis took a step back, the disappointment thick, but it didn’t matter how fucking hot Harry was, he wasn’t about to put his health at risk. Not even for a superstar. 

He knew, in general, condoms were never 100% but he needed to know whoever he was sharing his body with was at least cautious and cared to check. Louis liked calculated risks. 

Harry sat up, “Lou, it not what you think!” Louis held a hand up, “Listen I’m not judging, it’s your life and your body and you’re free to do with it as you please, but I’m sorry...I can’t risk it. Get dressed and we can watch a movie okay? I’ll go make some popcorn.”

Louis turned to go and Harry was not about to let that happen, no matter how embarrassed he was, “I’ve never done it!” He shouted to Louis’ back.

Louis turned back around, crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, “I know, we established that. No need to shout about it.” 

Louis took in the tortured and desperate look on Harry’s face.....holy shit! Realization hit Louis like a dump truck, his eyes went wide like saucers, “Oh....You mean....you mean you’ve never done _it_.”

Harry’s cheeks felt like lava but he nodded. 

Louis felt his heart do somersaults and flips. 

Harry spoke nervously, “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want it to freak you out and then have something like this,” he motioned frantically between Louis and his own body, “happen.”

Louis looked at Harry, “You’re a bloody fool you know that? What if I’d just shoved it in without preamble? Do you know how much that would hurt?” He watched as Harry looked down. 

He climb onto the bed and crawled up over Harry and straddled him, Harry looked up, the shock clear on his face. 

Louis gave him an impish smile, “A beautiful fool.” He nuzzled his nose against Harry’s and then hovered his lips over Harry’s lips, “Kiss me you fool.”

Harry didn’t hesitate, he kissed Louis hungrily, gripping Louis hips with bruising strength. After a while his hands slipped under Louis shirt feeling his small yet firm body.

Louis lifted his arms and they broke away so Harry could take Louis shirt off. Their lips crashed together again, a needy mixture of tongue, lips, and teeth.

Harry reached for Louis button on his jeans and after a few moments of fumbling and Louis trying to help they both laughed against each other’s lips. Louis put his hands on Harry’s shoulders and stood up, balancing precariously on the mattress as he unbuttoned his pants and hooked his fingers in to push them down. 

Harry’s mouth dropped as a pair of black lace briefs stared back at him. Louis smirked down, “You like?”

Harry closed his mouth and nodded as his tongue peeled out to barely caress his bottom lip. 

Louis used Harry’s shoulders as he lifted one leg and then the other, removing the jeans completely. 

To Harry’s severe disappointment he didn’t go back to straddling him, instead he walked to the edge of the bed and hopped down. 

Harry was closed to whining or begging but Louis turned his back to Harry and ever so slowly slipped the lace underwear off and then reached for the lube and a condom setting them on the edge of the bed before he began kissing Harry’s ankles and up his shins An did thighs as Harry gripped the sheets and writhed. 

Anytime he reached for Louis he’d get swatted, so gripping the sheets was the best he could Dow and Louis kissed up to his hip bones and bit down gently making Harry buck up. 

Louis pressed him back down firmly, scolding him playfully each time. 

Harry’s hard-on dripped with precum and he moaned desperately as Louis licked at it before slipping his whole length into his warm mouth and giving it one hard suck, making the edges of Harry’s vision blurr. 

Then Louis was kneeling between his legs and ripping open the condom packet. Harry was breathless and panting as his eyes met Louis and Louis gave him a mischievous smile as he pinched the tip of the condom and rolled it onto Harry’s throbbing erection, “Don’t get used to this, I’m making an exception.”

Harry swallowed as Louis grabbed the lube and squirted some onto the condom and then onto his fingers before reaching back and working himself for a few minutes as Harry tried to focus on his breathing because he’d be damned if he came before being inside of Louis.

Louis straddled Harry again and reached back to grip Harry’s prick before slipping back onto the tip.

Harry let out a low guttural sound and bucked his hips up and it was Louis turn to moan as Harry pushed himself to the hilt into Louis, “Holy shit! Oh my god! Fuck, Harry, your cock is....Jesus.....oh my god!”

Harry stilled and almost apologized but then Louis was moving on top of him, rolling his hip, getting used to the feeling of being filled. 

He’d only bottomed for two people. The first time had been the last time he’d slept with Stan before coming out and the for Zayn. After that everything went south and he refused to let anyone take him in that way, to have power over him, but he was no stranger to dildos. 

And thank god for those because otherwise he was sure he’d have been split open by Harry’s giant cock. 

He started to bounce up and down on Harry and Harry moved up to match each of his movements. His body naturally responding to Louis’ movements. 

He watched as Louis through his head back and rode him fast and hard, but Harry was tired of being just barely a participant. He wanted to make Louis lose control for a changed. 

He gripped Louis hips and before Louis realized what was happening Harry had him on his back and was pulling out halfway before slamming back into him. 

Louis felt panicked, this wasn’t okay... he felt too vulnerable, he wasn’t in charge, he- his thought cut off as Harry kissed his lips softly and slowed his thrusts drastically, then Harry mumbled against his lips, “Let me make you feel good Louis....I want to make you feel so, so, good.”

His hands slipped from Louis hips and his fingertips caressed up his body and over the soft skins of his arms and Louis expected him to grip his wrists but he didn’t, instead he slipped his hands into each of Louis’ and intertwined their fingers pressing them gently into the mattress as he kissed him again and again in a sweet slow manner as he fucked him-no, this wasn’t fucking, there was too much gentleness, to much care....

Harry was so close to coming, but he wouldn’t, not until Louis did. 

Harry watched as Louis began to move with him following his slow torturous rhythm. Harry pulled away from Louis’ lips and let his head fall into the crook of Louis’ neck as he began to grind hard into Louis. 

He moaned softly and stopped moving, then slowly started again and then repeated that as he heard Louis breathing becoming more and more ragged and uncontrolled. 

Harry felt as Louis heels dug into his ass trying to get him to move faster but Harry liked the way he was making Louis breath. 

He pulled out until only the tip was inside of Louis and made very small motions. Louis moaned desperately freeing his hands from Harry’s and moving around Harry until his fingers were digging into Harry’s back trying to pull him further in.

Harry resisted at first but then he heard Louis whisper against his ear, “Please! Oh god please fuck me. Please! I need you....I need you all the way inside of me.”

Harry thrust in fast and hard making Louis moan, “Yes! Yes! Yes....oh my fucking....yes...”

Harry pulled back slowly and Louis all but cried, “No...please...again... please.”

His nails scratched desperately at Harry’s back, and Harry groaned, “You’re going to make me cum baby...”

Louis dug his heels hard against Harry’s backside as he pulled him in, “Yes...I want that.”

Harry grit his teeth, “No. You first.” He began thrusting faster and harder and then stopped and went slowly again and Louis whimpered and writhed and Harry licked his earlobe and whispered, “Cum for me baby. Cum all over me.” He thrust deeply as he said that and Louis’ back arched up off the bed. 

Harry did it again, and again, and on the third time he felt Louis tighten around him as warm liquid spilled onto both their chests and then Harry was thrusting fast and cumming hard.

Harry collapsed halfway on top of Louis after he was fully spent and they laid their breathing wildly for a few minutes, unmoving, before Louis chuckled, “We should probably clean up before my cum dries into cement.”

Harry groaned and rolled off of Louis, “I can’t move.....I’ve died and gone to heaven.” 

Louis felt himself grinning like madman as he stood from the bed and walked to the bathroom to wet a towel with warm water cleaning himself and then going back to his bed where Harry lay and cleaning him gently.

Afterwards he crawled into bed next to Harry and Harry pulled him close and kissed the top of his head, “What a great way to start the day. It’s barely noon.”

Louis yawned, “I’d never had sex in the day time.”

Harry snorted, “I’d never had sex.”

Louis closed his eyes, “Well, now you have. Hope it was everything you imagined.”

Harry was silent until he heard Louis’ breathing even out and knew he was asleep, and he whispered softly, “You are more than I could have ever imagined.”


	6. Whatever this is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry start falling in too deep

Three weeks had passed since they’d first had sex, the next day they were determined to stop, they’d agreed it was stupid and Harry was leaving at the end of summer and it was a bad idea to mix business with pleasure, but just two hours after that conversation Harry had accidentally brushed against Louis’ ass as he cooked and Louis did dishes and Harry had ended up using olive oil to slip inside Louis in the middle of the kitchen. 

After that they’d agreed to just ‘let things happen as they might and no hard feelings when it ended’ and 3 days of barely leaving the bedroom had ensued. 

It would have been longer except Niall had come by to ask if he’d organized his venues from the ones he wanted to play at for sure and the ones he was okay with because Niall’s team needed to start reviewing contracts.”

That had cooled them down enough to get started on real work, reminding both of them the actual reason Harry was there.

They’d developed a new routine and Harry had insisted that Louis write songs for his album. Louis had called Zayn squealing and celebrating and Zayn had told him he couldn’t wait to be home to take him for drinks.

Some of Louis local friends had also complained about barely seeing Louis and Louis missing poker night, but Louis had told them he was working on some big stuff until the end of summer. 

Louis was amazed by how well Harry’s style mixed with his, and how they could sit and bounce lyrics off each other for hours. 

They still went swimming and Harry still did all the cooking but things were definitely different now that they were intimate. 

For example Harry had all but moved into Louis’ room, and of course there was the sex, the toe-numbing, mind blowing sex. 

The way Harry made love to him made Louis feel like Harry could read his mind.

On the Saturday of the 1 month anniversary since Harry’s arrival into his life, they sat in the small studio at the far side of Louis’ house and listened to the song they’d recorded the night before, for the 4th time. 

Louis smiled at Harry, “It sounds good. Really good.”

Harry frowned as the lyric change played again,  
__  
Lost my senses  
I'm defenseless  
Her perfume’s holding me ransom  
Sweet and sour  
I devour  
Lying here I count the hours  


Then he growled, “It’s a lie....I’m not ashamed of you, you know that right? I wish I could tell people about you.”

Louis sighed, “It’s okay Harry, they don’t need to know about us.”

Harry smiled and hummed the other song they’d written just a couple days back, “ _They don’t know about the things we do, they don’t know about the I love you’s._ ”

Louis groaned, “I already told you it was a fucking slip up. In the moment. Stop reading into it! I didn’t mean ‘I love you’ to you, I was talking to that magic cock of yours.”

Harry pouted, “You just want me for my body.”

Louis smirked, “It’s a nice little body.”

Harry threw a piece of popcorn on him, “Imp.”

Louis grinned and stood up leaning down to kiss Harry on the lips and then pulled slightly back running his fingers through his curls, “I gotta go grocery shopping, is there anything you need?” 

Harry’s eyes lit up, “Avocados!”

Louis gave him another quick kiss and turned to go, “Can you put in a load while I’m gone?”

“Yes.”

Louis opened the door and turned back, “Don’t burn down the house while I’m gone.”

Harry saluted him and waited to hear his footsteps fade away and then peeked out of the studio to make sure the house was empty and then called Liam, “Lima!”

Liam rolled his eyes, “Stop calling me that.”

Harry ignored him, “I need you to keep watch on the house-“

“Oh my god! Are you okay? Is it fans? Paparazzi?!” Liam stumbled off the couch dropping his Xbox controller and stumbling over his coffee table...Well not his coffee table....he’d been staying at Zayn’s flat because they hadn’t been able to find an empty place close enough to Louis’ house. 

Harry laughed, “Calm down, I just need you to keep a lookout so you can tell me when Louis gets here. I’m working on a song for him.”

Liam pulled his pants on as he held his phone up with his shoulder, “You and him are getting pretty domestic Harry....have you guys talked about what will happen when you leave?”

Harry’s shoulders slumped, “Liam....”

Liam grabbed a shirt and smelled the pits and then nodded satisfactorily and put it on, “I’m just saying Harry. You know what your contract says, and you’re going on tour soon, and Louis’ a nice guy. Stop fucking him if you can’t talk about real life stuff with him.”

“I love him. I’ve loved him for longer than he knows.”

“Zayn _will_ kill you if you hurt him. Do you know how many pictures and paintings and graffiti of Louis there are in his apartment?” Liam did his best to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Harry laughed, “Yeah I know. Most of the trinkets Louis has are all ‘oh yeah, Zayn got that for me when he went to’ dot dot dot.”

Liam clenched his fists, “Okay. Well I’ll be over in like 5 minutes”

Harry stepped back into the recording booth and closed his eyes, 

“If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you I think I might give up everything, just ask me to Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down Right now I'm completely defenseless For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart”

 

He went through the rest of the song and managed to begin the editing when his phone started buzzing against him. 

Liam yelled, “HE’S PULLING IN! I REPEAT, THE SHORT ONE IS PULLING IN!”

Harry scrambled to close everything out and then ran out and sat on the couch before remembering Louis had asked him to do laundry, he scrambled off the couch and into the small laundry room and repeated Louis lessons about ‘Dark with dark and light with light but no pinks with the whites.’

He quickly sorted through the clothes and shoved them into the washer, pouring soap in, and starting the cycle. 

He heard the front door open and ran into the living room throwing himself onto the couch. 

“Hazzah, I went a little overboard on the groceries, can you help me? The neighbors are all at work.”

Harry peered over the couch, “Oh hey you’re back!”

Louis narrowed his eyes, “Why are you so flushed....and breathing so hard?” His eyes widened, “Were you....were you tugging yourself off?”

Harry scrambled to his feet, “What? No!”

Louis raised an eyebrow, “Sure....well hurry and put on a beanie and come help.”

Harry blushed furiously as he followed Louis, “I swear I wasn’t.”

Louis opened his car and handed Harry a Walmart bag but Harry recoiled, “You’ve been getting our groceries at **Walmart**?!”

Louis turned around, “Harry, take the bags.”

“No!”

“What do you mean No? Harry what’s wrong with Walmart? Don’t be stuck up!” Louis yelled angry. He couldn’t believe Harry was being such an ass about groceries, “Do you know how many people go hungry? How many people would do anythin’ just to have even ‘Walmart quality’ food? Get over yourself!”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed and he frowned, “I’m not being stuck up! They are evil! I don’t support companies who pay their workers like shit, have anti-union policies, and cut down local businesses.”

Louis was stunned, he’d thought Harry had been angry for completely different reasons and now he felt guilty, “Harry.....”

Harry grabbed the bags from Louis, “I thought you knew me better than that, I thought you thought more of me.”

The hurt in his voice was obvious and Louis watched as he turned away and took the bags in the house. 

They unpacked the rest of the groceries in silence, Louis didn’t need know how to apologize, I mean for fucks sake they were fighting over fucking _groceries_ , how stupid was that?

Louis sighed as he began to unpack everything, he knew it wasn’t about the groceries....not really.....he looked at Harry who sat in the living room strumming his guitar, looking like a kicked puppy dog.

Louis chewed on his lip, “I’m going to make lunch.”

Harry looked up, “It’s fine, I don’t mind cooking.”

Louis shook his head, “No, I, um, I’ve been looking up recipes, and I went to a cooking class when you took that trip with Nick last Wednesday.” 

Harry raised an eyebrow, “You went to a cooking class? Why?”

Louis licked his lips, “I...I wanted to cook for you.”

Harry felt his pulse pick up, “You wanted to cook for me?”

Louis blushed and nodded, “Yeah.”

Harry felt his anger fade and leaving a feeling of ownership and wanting in its place, he stood up and stalked towards Louis, “Have you cooked for anyone else Lou?”

Louis felt a jolt of heat down his spine at Harry’s low voice, “No.”

Harry walked into the kitchen and grabbed Louis’ hips, hoisting him onto the counter next to the sink, “But you’re going to cook for me.”

Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist and pulled him closer, “Will that get me some good favor with my resident Super Star?”

“Depends, what are you cooking?” Harry brushed his lips over Louis’ and Louis snipped at Harry’s bottom lip. 

Harry kissed Louis softly and Louis was quick to slip his hands into Harry’s hair and deepen the kiss, after a few moments he pulled back and met Harry’s peridot colored eyes, “I’m sorry. I keep trying to fit you into the box in my brain that says ‘Really Famous Womanizing Super Star’ and you’re not like that.”

Harry gave him a quick peck, “Thank you. I’m sorry I overreacted to Walmart bags, but in the future I would prefer our groceries come from local shops.”

“Deal.”

Harry pressed his forehead to Louis’, “Have I ever told you, you have the most beautiful blue eyes?”

Louis rolled his eyes, “Only every morning, at least once before lunch and every time you’re balls deep inside me.”

Harry smirked, “Well what can I say, I'm an honest man.”

Louis nuzzled his nose to Harry’s, “Time is flying by...this all feels like a dream, pretty soon you’ll be gone and off to tour the world.”

“And you’ll be a really rich and popular song writer, you’ll probably be too important to write for little ol’ me.”

Louis’ snorted, “Yeah right, you’re on your way to becoming one of the greats, like Freddie Mercury and Stevie Nix. Soon you’ll have all the boys and girls falling at your feet.”

Harry smiled, “And you?”

Louis wanted to say, I’m already there, but instead he laughed, “Keep dreaming Pretty Boy.” 

He shoved Harry away playfully and they fooled around as they put the groceries away. 

Louis kicked Harry out of the house and onto the beach as he made lunch. He hoped he didn’t fuck it up too bad. 

This whole idea had started when Niall and Nick had come over and brought the contracts for Louis to get writer’s credits and royalties for the songs he’d helped Harry write and Harry hd made all of them dinner.

Nick and Niall had all but melted and Nick had made a joke about being in love with Harry and Niall had said he was in love with Harry too and Nick had made a joke about ‘the way to a man’s heart.’ And Harry had smiled and said that he thought cooking for someone was one of the most romantic things you could do.

So Louis had called Zayn about what Harry’s favorite food was and Zayn had made a snide comment about not being Harry’s mum, and then started asking too many questions and Louis had hung up because he was shit at lying to Zayn and Harry and him had agreed it was best to keep their...whatever it was...between the two of them for now.

Then he’d done the unthinkable....in the middle of the night while Harry was sleeping he’d grabbed his cellphone and dialed the contact under the name ‘Mum.’

He’d calculated the time difference to be about the same as with his family since Harry’s mum also lived in the UK, but when the sweet voice of Anne had responded and he’d hung up....but then she had called back and Harry’s loud ringtone had made him panick and answer the call to keep from waking Harry.

He’d answered with a sheepish, “Hello. Sorry to bother you, I, um, I....” His voice trailed off. He felt like an idiot! What if Harry’s mum didn’t need know about him? What if - his thoughts had been cut off by a bell like giggle, “You must be Harry’s Lou.”

Louis’ chest had squeezed, “Um...”

She continued, “Is Harry alright love?”

“Yes! Yes! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to worry you, everything is fine. Dandy even.” He’d cursed himself and his stupid tongue, “I mean...oh god, I’m sorry Mrs. Styles. I just, I-“

“Breathe Lovely boy, breathe. That’s betta’ now tell mummy Anne what she can do for you.”

Louis had asked her what Harry’s favorite meal was and she’d given him the list of all the ingredients and how to prepare it. 

Then Louis had found himself talking to her for about an hour, answering her questions about his life, and his relationship with Harry, and then she’d said she couldn’t wait to meet him and Louis had felt a stabbing pain as he realized he probably never would. 

Louis stopped cooking as the pain returned as he thought about it....he needed to let it go, to be grateful for the time he had with Harry now. To be grateful that Harry had told his mum about him. He wasn’t some stupid teenager anymore and Harry had a career and fans and he was very deep inside the closet. 

He wished he could talk to his mum about it, but the agreement he’d signed kept him from mentioning anything when he talked to her. She knew just as much as his friends did and it killed him. 

Every time he talked to her now it felt like he was lying to her. She’d asked about how he was sending so much more money, he’d joked and told her he was stripping and then after that had told her he was a bank robber now, and the last time they’d talked he’d said he was selling his soul for it....which was honestly the closest to the truth.

He took a few deep breaths willing the burning in his eyes to go away, wondering what the hell he’d gotten himself into....the end of their time together was approaching fast and he knew a world of hurt awaited him.

When he was done cooking he set up the dining room table, he called Harry in and winced at the slight sunburn on his skin, “Did you forget sunblock?” Harry grinned, “I was tanning.” “You look a bit red Love.” He laughed, “I’m fine....it smells delicious....and oddly familiar....what are we having?” Louis grinned, “Alright close your eyes.” Harry closed his eyes and let Louis guide him to the table and into a chair, “Lou this smells really good!” Louis smiled, “Okay open your eyes!” Harry’s eyes widened and Louis said, “I present chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in parmaham with a side of homemade mash.”

Harry blinked up at Louis, “Lou....this is my favorite meal....no one but my mum has ever made it for me.”

Louis shifted from foot to foot, “Um, it’s her recipe.”

Harry stared at him without saying anything and Louis stomach knotted up, “I’m sorry. This was stupid. I didn’t mean to overstep.” He reached for the plate and Harry grabbed his hand. 

He looked at Harry doing his best not to cry, “I’ll order pizza.”

Harry didn’t let his hand go, he pushed away from the table and stood pulling Louis hard until he was tightly pressed against him and then he kissed Louis like he’d never kissed anyone before, with all his heart, as if he was gifting Louis his soul through that kiss. 

Louis heart palpitated wildly, he could hear blood rushing in his ears. Harry spoke into the kiss, “I love you. I love you so goddamned much!”

Louis moaned into the kiss and the taste of Harry filled his senses, lighting his body on fire, delicious electricity coursing through his nerves. 

Harry pulled back slightly, “The foods going to get cold.” Louis laughed, “Yeah, we should eat...I mean if you want, you don’t have too...”

Harry kissed him again hard and fast and then pulled away grinning, “I’m excited.”

Louis watched Harry’s face as he took the first bite and swelled with pride as Harry let out a sound that sounded almost like a purr. Louis took a bite and grinned, “Oh my God, I actually did a good job!”

Harry grinned, “Tastes better than my mum’s....don’t tell her I said that.”

Louis snorted, “You know you don’t have to lie to me to get laid right?”

Harry laughed loudly and tied his hair back into that messy bun Louis loved, “I love watching you do mundane things, it makes me feel special, because everyone always sees you only at your best but I get to see you just be you, like when you wake up and your curls are stuck to your face, or the way you stick your tongue out when you’re stuck on a chorus.”

Harry mumbled, “Fuck Lou....how am I supposed to leave you....”

Louis shook his head, “Let’s not talk about it.”

Harry opened his mouth to protest but Louis interrupted him, “I stole your phone to call your mum...that’s how I got the recipe.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, “I figured, it was either that or you’re a wizard.”

“Damn, I should have gone with wizard.” He smiled, “She’s a very nice lady. She called me your Lou.”

Harry blushed, “I’m sorry....I tell my mum and sister everything.”

Louis felt the twisting in his stomach again, “Usually I do to...but I can’t because of the NDA.”

Harry frowned, “Lou, you can tell your mom anything you want, just make sure to tell her to keep quiet about it, I don’t want my management to come after her legally.”

Louis’ eyes lit up, “Are you serious?”

Harry nodded and Louis jumped out of his chair and pressed a hard kiss on Harry, “Thank you.”

Louis ran to his room to grab his cell off the charger and called his mum. He told her everything...well the appropriate everything at least....and they talked for a long while. 

His mum asked to speak with Harry and Harry had her charmed within minutes. When they said their goodbyes and hung up Louis looked at Harry with dreamy eyes. 

Harry pulled him onto his lap and leaned in to kiss Louis, but Louis pulled back, “I love you too.”


	7. The Ways You Get Me High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn finally comes back. YAY?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I've gone back and corrected some grammatical errors on previous chapters....I wrote most of them on my IPAD and it kept "correcting" my 'was' to 'wasn't' and my 'do' to 'don't' and a few others....sorry if it made things confusing. Anyways, hope this chapter doesn't have those errors.

Louis scrubbed the counters even though they were spotless at this point, "Harold, I just don't think it's a good idea....I'll just see you Monday."

Harry pouted, "Lou, I don't want to spend a whole weekend without you! That's Three days, 72 hours, 4320 minutes, 259200 seconds!" 

Louis laughed, "First of all you're ridiculous for having actually done the math on that."

"Technically Google did it for me." Harry Grinned.

"You prepared for this discussion?" Louis raised an amused eyebrow all the while biting back a smile.

Harry nodded, "Yes, of course, if I don't plan our conversations then I can't get anything out, being around you makes it hard for me to think straight. I just want to go all cave-man Tarzan and throw you over my shoulder and take you with me whether you agree or not." 

Louis' stomach and heart and basically everything in his body at that moment felt warm and fuzzy and erratic, "Hazz...I just....you leave on tour in 3 weeks and....and-"

Harry walked into the kitchen and grabbed the scrubbing brush from Louis and grabbed his gloved hands, "Exactly. I leave on tour in 3 weeks, and I don't want to waste a moment of it without you." 

"You leave on tour in 3 weeks and you need to get used to being without me....just like I need to get used to staying here...without you." 

"I already said you can come on tour with me Lou! I already asked you." 

"Harry...."

"Lewis." Harry pulled his hands away and crossed them over his chest. 

"We've talked about this." 

Harry frowned, "No, we haven't. I said, 'hey I love you, come on tour with me.' and you said, 'No. Don't ask me again.' That's not 'talking about it' that's you shooting me down without rhyme or reason." 

Louis groaned and titled his head back to look at his ceiling before looking back at Harry and motioning between them, "Tell me Harry, how exactly would me coming on tour with you work out? Hmm? Would I just sit around waiting in hotel rooms for when you needed me to service you? Or would I have to pretend to be your super hetero best bud and watch you flirt and go on dates with other girls? Hmm? What about when people ask why I'm on tour with you?"

Harry reached for Louis but Louis stepped back, "Lou....I would never ask you to hide who you are....I wouldn't do that.....and it's not about the sex.......you know it's not.....and the girls, I'm not attracted to them, it's not real. I thought maybe you could come on tour and we could start writing for my next album." 

"Where would I sleep?"

"With me of course." 

"How exactly would that work? You don't think people would question one of your writers sleeping in the same room as you? You don't think people would start to wonder when you look at me a certain way or when I look at you a certain way?"

Harry threw up his arms with exasperation, "So they find out! So what?! I want you! I need you." 

"You're a brand. You love what you do. We don't even know if we'll work out and I will **not** be responsible for you losing your very promising future over something that might not work out!" 

Harry knew that Louis was right, that it didn't make sense to risk everything for someone he'd just met a month and a half ago, but he _wanted_ to, he wanted to give it all up so bad.

He looked at Louis and smiled softly, "There's a lightning in your eyes I can't deny....Then there's me inside a sinking boat, running out of time...." Louis picked up the song, "Without you I'll never make it out alive...Oh Hazz...it's too much....too soon....come on you know it is." 

Harry nodded, "Yeah.....I just....I can't help it, I've never felt this way before..." His voice was a whisper.

Louis took off his cleaning gloves and stepped forward wrapping his arms around Harry and burying his face into his chest, "Neither have I."

"Even with Stan?" Harry asked with a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

Louis chuckled softly, "Who's Stan?" 

Harry kissed the top of Louis' head wrapping his arms around Louis' shoulders, "Come with me this weekend. Please. New York City is amazing! You can pretend you don't know me if you want. We can be total strangers, get rooms on opposite sides of the top floor...have casual drinks in the lobby as acquaintances...." Harry's voice trailed off huskily."

Louis pinched his side, "Are you trying to fulfill some sexual fantasy with me Harold? You bloody pervert!" 

Harry's chest rumbled with supressed laughter, "Whaaaat? Me? No! I'm just an innocent hotel patron minding my own business and you're just slowly seduced by my curls." 

Louis shoved him away halfheartedly, "You sure talk some shite don't you. Fine, I'll go and we can see how this goes and then I'l maybe think of spending every other week on tour with you. I'm hoping to have work with other artists after your album drops, hopefully there's at least a few of my songs that make it as hits." 

Harry pumped his fists into the air and ran around the flat yelling in triumph making Louis break out into a fit of laughter. 

Harry ran back to Louis and lifted him onto one of the counters pressing kisses onto his neck, his hands sliding under his shirt, "God Louis, you're like a drug." 

Louis hummed one of G-Eazy's songs, singing softly, "I'm on some kind of drug, can't explain, all the ways you get me high..." 

Harry leaned back and pouted, "I don't like this attraction you have for G-Eazy."

Louis smirked, "He's just so Bad-boy sexy....the things I would-"

Harry bit his lip hard sucking on it, making Louis moan. Harry slipped his hand into Louis' messy hair and he gripped tightly while he used his other hand to slip into Louis' sweats and gripped his roused cock squeezing a little too roughly before growling, "Mine. You're mine." 

Louis whimpered feeling more turned on by the second, but he pushed Harry further, "I don't know, I quite like the leather jacket and the-" 

Harry kissed him roughly as he undid his jeans pulling them down and then yanking Louis forward and yanking his shorts down before reaching for the olive oil and pouring it onto his erection before shoving into Louis. 

Louis gasped and clung to Harry as his body quaked. 

Dark Harry was something he'd discovered by total accident when admiring Nyle Dimarco when they were watching Top Model and next thing he knew Harry was fucking his mouth like there was no tomorrow....and Louis fucking loved it. 

Harry was always so tender and almost as slow with his love-making as he was with his speech, but sometimes Louis wanted it to be wild and rough and.....his toes went numb and Harry hammered into his spot again and again and Louis moaned, "I'm going to-" before he could finish the statement Harry pulled out leaving him feeling empty and murderous, "Harry Edward Styles if you don't-" Harry gave him a devilish smile before crouching lower and taking Louis into his mouth and sucking him until he came completely undone.

Louis gasped and he broke one of the cabinet knobs straight off from how hard he was gripping it. 

Harry stood up and pulled Louis closer again before reentering him slowly, the sensation felt almost too much to Louis who was freshly spent, but his body welcomed Harry's gentle breech and he wrapped himself around his lover moaning softly in his ear, as he marked Harry's neck with love-bites. Harry moaned low, "You're mine."

Louis agreed, "Yes. I'm yours. So fucking yours...god...baby..how-" Louis gasped as he felt his balls tighten again, "Holy shit, Curly, holy shit....you're going to make me cum again....god...how...Please Curly, please don't stop."

Harry groaned at the soft pleading tone in Louis voice, he gripped his hips hard, thrusting into him again and again. Louis was practically purring, his legs trembled and he bit into Harry's neck to keep from crying out as he felt Harry pulsing inside him, filling him with his cum and then he came again." 

They stood there with Harry still inside him for a long time, and then Harry whispered, "Was I too rough?"

Louis, "mmm?" 

Harry chuckled, "I'll take that as a no....Baby if I ever-"

"Hazzah. Shut up. If I didn't like it, it wouldn't happen." Louis kissed Harry's neck sweetly, "What's for dinner?"

Harry laughed, "My body and my cooking skills.....that's all you want."

"Well and you have those beautiful green eyes, and that dad-joke sense of humor, and this heart of gold, and you make me happier than i deserve to be." 

Harry frowned, "Don't you dare say that. You deserve everything Louis Tomlinson." 

Louis snorted, "Go get cleaned up you sop, I need sustenance."

Harry stole a quick kiss and scampered off to changed his clothes and Louis texted his siblings. They had a group text because texting them individually was too much.

Louis was laughing at a picture Lottie had sent him of his mom wearing half her very short hair pinned and tied with rainbow hair ties as Daisy and Doris painted her face with makeup when the doorbell rang and Louis went to open it, "Zayn!" He threw himself into Zayn's arms and Zayn wrapped him up tight exhaling with what sounded like relief and kissed his cheek sloppily, "Missed you."

Louis pulled away, "Come in! You want a beer? Harry's about to make dinner if you're hungry." 

Harry came up behind Louis and grinned at Zayn, "Mate! You're back!" Harry put one hand on the small of Louis' back and reach out with the other to do their handshake. 

Zayn followed through with his hand shake but his eyes were focused on Harry's other hand, "So...you two....you're...together?"

Harry heard something in Zayn's voice that made him want to pull Louis tight against him and slam the door in his best friend's face.

Louis rolled his eyes, completely oblivious to the tension, "You're so nosy, come on, you look tired, I'll make you tea."

Harry and Louis stepped back to let Zayn in. 

Zayn sat at one of the bar stools and laid his head down on the breakfast bar, "I'm never doing television again." 

Louis laughed as he grabbed the kettle and filled it with water, "You say that every time but I know you love it." 

"Its' different when you don't come with me." Zayn said petulantly, "I have to put up with all the parties and social things." 

Louis rolled his eyes, "You're such an ungrateful shit." He framed his face with his hands dramatically, " _Look at me, I'm Zayn, I was cursed with this beautiful face that everyone wants to pay me for. Oh and don't forget my abs and tattoos and. It's so hard being this gorgeous, successful, and sought after._

Zayn slipped out of his bar stool and stalked to the other side of the counter and tried to grab Louis but Louis jumped back, "Zayn! Don't you dare!" 

Zayn narrowed his eyes, "You think you can talk all that shit and get away with it?" Zayn lunged at Louis and Louis yelped and giggled as he began to run away. An epic chase ensued until Zayn had Louis pinned down in the living room and was tickling him. 

Harry watched from the kitchen with clenched fists, furious, and feeling very very invisible and forgotten. 

Louis yelled mid-laughter, "Mercy! Mercy!" 

Zayn raised an eyebrow, his hand inches away from Louis' most-ticklish spot at his side near his right hip, "Mercy who?" 

Louis glared, "Fuck you!" 

Zayn sighed, "Wrong answer." Then began to inch closer as Louis squirmed to get free, "Zayn! I'm going to chop your dick off! Zayn! Goddamn it Zayn! OKAY! OKAY! MERCY MASTER SEXGOD ZAYN!!"

Zayn grinned, "See, was that so hard? Now a kiss for peace and prosperity."

Louis rolled his eyes, "You're a twat."

Zayn patted his cheek with his pointer finger to signal where Louis should kiss him, but as he leaned down to bring his cheek to Louis lips Harry yanked him off and shoved him away. 

Harry glared at Zayn, his voice low and menacing, "Don't ever fucking touch him like that again."

He whirled around to Louis, "And _you_! What in the fucking hell Louis?! What the hell was that?! Why would you let him do that?! What's wrong with you?!" 

All of a sudden Zayn stood between them and he shoved Harry back, "You need to back off, and you need to never talk to Lou like that again." 

Louis eyes were wide with surprise and for fucks sake his prick really liked what was unfolding in front of him, he felt like one of those maidens in the movies who's honor was being defended by two very sexy- what the hell? No, this needed to stop.

Zayn continued, "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"I'm Louis' **boyfriend**." Harry snapped.

Zayn scowled, "Oh piss off with that bullshite will ya'? His _boyfriend_? You won't even remember who he is once you leave at the end of the month." 

"That's not true!" 

Zayn snorted, "You forget I know you mate. I know how you work, I know you might think you're in love with Louis now, but as soon as the real world comes calling you'll leave and you'll forget about him and I won't let you hurt him like that." 

Harry grit his teeth, "You. Don't. Know. That." 

Louis tried to step forward but Zayn held him back with his arm, "Harry, you're a good kid...but Louis, he's my best friend and I won't let you do to him what you did to Alex. Do you remember Alex?" 

Harry paled and Louis stopped trying to get past Zayn.

Louis looked to Harry, "Who's Alex?"


	8. I loved You Before I Knew....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's find out who Alex is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I've been MIA. Finals happened and then this version of Harry and Louis refused to talk to me and tell me who Alex is.
> 
> Anyways please read :)

Louis asked again, “Who the fuck is Alex?”

Zayn scoffed, "Alex is the stupid sop who let himself be charmed by Harry and ended up falling head over heels for 'im only to have his heart crushed because Harry's already in love with someone. It's the same thing he tells all of them but poor Alex, he was foolish enough to think they had something real, that Harry inviting him on his tour meant something other than Harry hadn't had his fill yet. Alex ended up in rehab when Harry was done with him. Louis he's been in love with the same guy for years and everyone else is just a place holder."

Louis' whole body felt hot and cold, "I'm such a fucking idiot! I trusted you! We stopped using condoms because I believed your fucking lies! Is that what you tell all of them too? That it's your first time?!" 

Harry protested, "I wasn't lying! Lou I love you!"

Zayn stood with his mouth dropped open and his eyes wide, "Harry had sex with you...." Zayn's voice trailed off as he began to piece it all together in his head and his eyes went even wider, "Holy shit Harry!"

Louis grabbed his keys off the coffee table not even hearing the implications in what Zayn had said, "I need some air." 

Harry grabbed his arm, "No. You don't get to walk away! You haven't even let me explain! I'm not Stan!"

Louis growled and yanked his arm away, "Fuck you Harry! Fuck you for making me fall in love with you! Fuck you for not being up front and just telling me there's someone else!"

Harry pleaded, "Just listen to me! There's no one else! There's only you! only ever you! **You're** the guy I've been in love with for years!"

Louis felt nauseous, his heart was tearing itself apart, it was nothing like the pain he'd felt from losing Stan, this pain went deeper, this pain was something that would leave gaping wounds that might not ever scar. He scowled, "Are you serious Harry? Do you think I'm stupid?"

Zayn interjected, "Um...Lou..."

Louis snapped at him, "What?!"

Zayn winced, "You might want to hear him out, he-"

Louis cut him off, his voice full of emotion, "Who's fuckin' side are you on!"

Harry repeated, "I'm not Stan! I wouldn't hurt you like that! You're not my second choice Lou."

"Then look me in the eye and tell me you're not in love with the same guy you've been in love with for years!"

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, "I can't do that because it would be a lie, but the guy I've been in love with for years, the guy I still love, is _you_." Harry motioned toward Louis frantically.

Louis shook his head, "How's that possible Harry? WE just met a month ago! How could you possibly have been in love with me."

Harry blushed and glared at Zayn, wishing he could stab his best friend with a fork, "It's a long story."

Zayn cleared his throat, "I could make some tea."

Louis glared at Zayn, "Are you bloody bipolar? Just a few minutes back you were telling me what an arse Harry is and now you're trying to make tea so he can talk to me?"

Zayn sighed, "I don't think Harry is lying.....I think I've been used for years," He turned to Harry, "Do you even like my tattoos?" 

Harry groaned, "Are you serious right now Z? You think I'd let you ink my whole body if I didn't like your art."

Zayn pointed at Louis, "Well now I do! You've been using me to stalk Louis!" 

Harry yelled, "I was **not** stalking him!"

"Really?" Zayn crossed his arms over his chest, "Then how exactly is it that you've been in love with him for years then?"

Louis rubbed his temples, "I've got a bloody headache now."

Harry pouted, "I'm sorry Lou." 

Louis could still feel the tears burning at the back of his eyes, "If there's someone else Harry......if you already-"

"There's no one else." Harry said firmly then sighed, "I just....I don't want to tell you the truth because you'll think I'm a wack job and it sounds creepy..."

Zayn snickered, "That's an understatement."

Harry glared at Zayn, "Don't you have somewhere to be or somethin'?" 

Zayn was about to say no, but he looked between Harry and Louis, he focused on Louis and waited for heartbreak or jealousy to overtake him. He'd spent years secretly believing they would end up together, that one day they would realize that they were each other's safe haven and get married and build a family.....they loved each other, they took care of each other, they were best friends.....but Zayn wasn't in love with Louis.

His mind flashed to a memory of being bent over the hood of a Range Rover.....then he thought about the man currently infecting his apartment with his sweet, musky, delicious scent He grabbed his keys, "I have to go actually. Good luck you two." 

He grabbed Louis and hugged him giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before whispering into Louis' ear, "He's so fucking in love with you....you have no idea. Just hear him out."

Louis felt a heavy loss as Zayn pulled away, for some reason he couldn't quite explain that hug had felt different....as if Zayn was taking a part of himself back that Louis hadn't even known he had. Zayn smiled at him, "I love you."

Louis hugged himself, "I love you too." He searched Zayn's face for answers to questions he didn't know he had, but Zayn looked like a man who'd finally found his final destination. 

Zayn turned to go and Louis called out, "Z!" 

Zayn turned around and Louis smiled, "Good luck."

Zayn grinned and waved at Harry, "Sorry about turning the night into a bit of a shit show...he's my best friend so, you know, I was just looking out....I didn't know....I would have done the same for you."

Harry rolled his eyes, "We're fine."

Once Zayn was gone they stood in silence, and the feet between them felt like hundreds and hundreds of miles. Louis made tea and they sat across one another at the dining table they'd shared so many meals at. 

Harry sighed, "I guess I should start explaining." 

Louis pressed his lips into a tight line and nodded. 

Harry licked his lips nervously before running his shaky fingers through his hair and then pulling it up and twisting it on top of his head and tying it off into a messy bun, "When I started to get really big Nick hired Liam as my body guard and we hit it off from the moment we met, he became one of my best friends in no time and when I had my 18th birthday I invited him to the party. He brought Zayn with him, they'd been living together for about a year-"

"What?! Zayn and Liam? Living together? When? Zayn never told me....when I moved from home he only had a roommate that moved out before I arrived." Louis' eyes were wide with surprise.

Harry chuckled, "Well Liam didn't take it well when Zayn broke things off with him so you could move in, he was proper mad and heartbroken, so I told him I would ask Zayn about you when I went in for my tattoo appointment and figure out if you guys were _together_. Zayn and I were pretty close by then too, I'd come out to them and they took me under their wing so it was almost like....Idunno...like my parents were divorcing or somethin'. I hated you then, for splitting them up and whatnot. 

So I went in and Zayn had this tray of misshapen cookies on the corner table and I reached for one and he just shouted 'No!' and then he told me how he'd mentioned in error that he was craving homemade cookies and so you attempted to make some even though you couldn't cook and they were horrible but he just couldn't tell you and he'd let one of the other artist eat one and he got a crazy upset stomach. 

Then he told me how a stray kitten followed you around for a whole week every morning you went for a walk and how you started bringing him in to feed him and give him water and started leaving the window cracked open so Minnie, the cat, could come and go as she pleased. I asked him more stories about you then and he mentioned how you had these baby blue eyes that made him incapable of saying no to you.

He told me about you guys growing up together, he told me about your family, and when I left I wanted to know more.

I reassured Liam you were just friends and I scheduled another appointment for the following week, and then the week after that, and the week after that.....then Zayn banned me for a couple months, said it was too much ink in such a short span and I needed to actually think my next tattoo through. So I decided I'd do a big tattoo so it would take several sessions to complete and I could get updated on you."

Louis breathing was uneven, "Which tattoo was it?"

Harry smiled, "Umm, the-"

"No...show me." Louis' eyes were dark with desire.

Harry's eyebrows shot up, "Really?"

Louis nodded and watched as Harry lifted his shirt off and his sucked in a sharp breath, wondering how much of the beautiful art was there because of him.

Harry pointed to the butterfly in the middle of his torso, "This one."

Louis clenched his hands together to keep from reaching out to caress Harry.

Harry continued, "The first session of the butterfly tattoo didn't go as planned though, Zayn got a call from you and you were beside yourself. Stan had called you to ask for your address so he could invite you to his wedding. I was furious and I realized that my feelings had gone past the point of casual curiosity and I started probing for different information. Zayn didn't think much of it thank God. Then he stopped working for a while when your mom was re-diagnosed with cancer so I knew about that....I....I fell in love with you little by little....never even knowing what you looked like....I wanted to hire a PI so many times but thankfully I realized how wrong and invasive that would be.

I thought about looking you up on social media but that also felt wrong...I don't know, part of me was scared I guess....you were this person that I'd built up in my mind.....

When Alex came around I was determined to have a _real_ relationship, I was sick of meaningless make-out sessions and fooling around with guys just to get off. You were this fantasy and I needed to get over it."

"What do you mean by fooling around."

Harry blushed, "Um, until Alex it was dry humping mostly and hand-jobs...."

"And with Alex?" 

Harry turned an even deeper shade of red, "Umm, the same, but blow jobs too."

"That's it?"

Harry nodded and Louis felt a possessive thrill fill him. He motioned for Harry to continue.

Harry sighed, "Alex was the assistant to one of the producers on my third album and he was funny and nice and I liked him. We went out on a few dates and started fooling around any chance we had.....I was considering a relationship with him and I invited him on tour with me. Everything was fine at first and I was even considering, you know, um, doing it with him. I'd even stopped asking Zayn about you."

Louis clenched his jaw, he knew it was stupid and unreasonable to be jealous of a Harry he'd never known, but he couldn't help it. 

Harry watched as Louis shifted back and away from him with his jaw clenched and his heart swelled with hope and amusement. Louis was jealous. Louis still wanted him. Louis didn't like the idea of him being with someone else.

Louis looked away, "So if he was so great then what happened?"

Harry reached out and caressed Louis' cheek, a wide grin spread across his face, "Lou, you don't have anything to be jealous about baby."

Louis swatted his hand away, "I'm not jealous." He stood up to go make tea or grab a snack, he needed space from Harry so he could think clearly and get his unreasonable jealousy under control. Before he could step away Harry grabbed his wrist and pulled him back onto his lap and kissed the crook of his neck, "I'm yours, all yours."

Louis whimpered as Harry kissed up his neck, "S-stop...I want to know w-what happened." 

Harry huffed, "Well then you'd better get off my lap." 

Louis pulled away and sat back in the chair he'd been occupying just minutes ago.

"When the night came to do the deed, I couldn't, I kept thinking about you....about losing you...about giving up on the hope that Zayn would introduce us or bring you to an event...and I backed out. He got mad and we got in an argument over how to arrange one of my songs the next day and he brought it up, in front of the whole crew. He made quite the scene and that's when my management company found out I was gay. Nick had known the whole time but he'd said it was better if we kept it at a 'don't ask, don't tell' that way they couldn't place restrictions and rules on my dating life.

They tried to get me to sign an addendum that said I wouldn't date men or come out for the duration of my contract. Anyone who already knew would have to sign a NDA and I would not be able to come out or date men after my contract ended for a period of 3 years.

Nick wasn't having it. He fought tooth and nail for me but there was only so much he could do. We agreed to the NDA's and not coming out to the general public for the duration of my contract and waiting until a year after the end of my contract. I could still date whoever I wanted to privately, with no restrictions, and I would 'date'" Harry put air quotes around the word _date_ , "Someone of their choosing publicly, for at least 3 weeks a minimum of once a year and anytime rumors started."

Louis covered his mouth, "Oh, Hazzah...I'm sorry...God...it's 2016.....you're such a big artist already...you'd be the perfect candidate for coming out.....this whole time I thought.....I thought you were just doing it, pretending to date all the hot girls, because you were trying to cater to your fan base, I thought you were concerned about your image and ashamed of being gay."

Harry shook his head, "I'm not ashamed Louis. I'm proud of being who I am and loving who I love. Love is love. Before they found out I didn't say anything just because I didn't think it was anyone's business, I didn't think I should have to make this big announcement, like that book _Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda_ I don't know if you've read it but he explains it better, the whole not seeing why gay people have to 'come out'...... but I never stopped myself from approaching a guy I thought was cute....I just never...I didn't have anyone that I wanted to show off, no one I wanted my fans to know about...so I just let people believe whatever they wanted to." 

Louis nodded in understanding, "I have read that book, it's super cute."

Harry smiled, "Yeah, it is. Very relatable too....anyways they scheduled me a photo walk with this up and coming model/actress who was also gay and we pretended to kiss and we went on pretend dates and it was actually really fun because she was really cool and it wasn't hard being around her. Alex hated it. He yelled at me and I felt guilty and I tried to explain but he wouldn't listen, instead he slept with one of the sound guys in the bed of the room we shared and made sure to do it when he knew I'd be coming back. 

I realized then that I didn't really feel that deeply for him because when I found him in bed with another man I felt....relief....relief that I had a reason to end things. When I told him we were done he lost it, he begged me to forgive him said he wouldn't have had to sleep with someone else if I had just done it, that he only wanted me, and I just repeated that we were done. I told him that I couldn't love him because I already loved someone.

He stayed on tour and started drinking and crashing parties and I didn't do anything about it because I felt guilty.....but then I heard the drinking was becoming habitual and he'd started asking my fans if they had drugs to give him and telling them he knew me personally.... I tried to help him but he tried to push me to have sex and I ended up having to call Nick.....he was gone by the next morning and in a rehab program paid by my private accounts....Nick still checks in on him...I paid for him to open up his own recording studio and he's doing well for himself."

"Does Zayn know the whole story?"

Harry shook his head, "No, I felt bad for Alex. and I would rather he think less of me, think it was just me being fickle, than know Alex's struggle....that was between him and I."

"But he cheated on you."

Harry shrugged, "I was cheating on him from the moment I first kissed him. I was using him to help me forget you."

"You didn't even know what I looked like! What if I was ugly?"

Harry crinkled his nose, "Well, I'm a strong believer that beauty is more than skin deep but also Zayn had describes your features to me and he talked about all the attention you always got when you went clubbing with him." 

"He has pictures of me on his phone, you could have just asked."

Harry shook his head, "I didn't want to. I didn't want you to be an object for me to just lust after. I loved you....in the purest way that I could love....I loved you."

Louis spoke breathlessly, "And now?" 

"Now I'm in love with you. Now I want you. Now I imagine a future with you...marriage...kids..."

Louis felt his heart stutter, he looked into Harry's peridot eyes and whispered, "Am I someone you want to tell your fans about?"

Harry gave him a sad smile, "You're someone I want at my side for everything, I want my fans and anyone who would listen to know....but I can't offer you that....what I can give you is me, my heart, and my truest self.... we wouldn't be a secret to the people that are close to my heart." 

Louis had avoided this conversation for almost a month, but there it was, Harry's offer, his truth.

Louis smiled, "Let's start with this weekend, yeah?"

Harry smiled, "Okay."


	9. Secret Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou and Harry go on a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s short but it’s more of a preamble for what’s about to go down

“Just do it!” Harry yelled too loudly.

Louis giggled and shook his head, “Harold if you drop me-“

“I won’t baby, I swear.”

Harry grabbed his phone from the hallway floor and restarted the Dirt Dancing song _Time of My Life._

Louis hopped on the balls of his feet from one foot to the other, shadow boxing, “Alright I’m doing this!”

“You’re doing this!” Harry encouraged.

Louis started to run but she stopped himself, “This is a stupid idea! We’re both drunk.”

“Do it!”

Louis groaned and backed up then took of running towards Harry. 

Harry widened his stance and repeated to himself ‘I will not drop him. I will not drop him.’ Under his breath.

Just as Louis reach him he braced his hands on Louis’ sides and lifted him up. 

It was exhilarating and magical for about 3 seconds until one of the hotel doors opened and Harry panicked, lost his footing, and they both tumbled to the floor. 

Niall stepped out and glared at them, “Is your plan to wake up the whole bloody floor?!”

Harry scrambled to his feet and pretended a salute, “No sir!”

Louis giggled still sprawled on the floor. 

Nick emerged from behind Niall and glared, “You two are bloody pissed! Harry you have an interview in 4 hours!”

Harry and Louis stared at Nick and Niall with wide eyes and their mouths open.

Louis mumbled, “Holy shit..”

Nick crossed his arm and gave them a frustrated look, “What? Why are you two idiots starin- oh! No! No! It’s not like that! Gods you two are idiots!”

Niall’s eyebrows furrowed, “What are you going on for?”

Nick snorted snickered, “They think we’re shaggin.”

Niall paled, “WHAT?! No!”

Nick glared at Niall, “Why th hell are _you_ offended. I mean I’m obviously a 9 and you’re maybe a 7.”

Niall scowled, “Fuck off. I’m going to bed. Good luck with those two.”

Nick turned all his attention at the giggling and very drunk Harry trying to help Louis up, “You two were supposed to stay in tonight! We agreed! I’ve got enough shit to deal with with all the mess from the photo shoot you pulled Louis into.”

Louis stumble up and into Harry who almost fell back. 

Harry shrugged, “He looked amazing in those photos. Montague didn’t mind. He loved Lou.”

Nick sighed and rubbed his face with his palms, “You two are being careless! What if a Papp saw you out tonight?!”

They both stared at him with glazed over eyes and he realized he was talking to ears that wouldn’t remember his words in the morning, “Go. To. Bed. Do NOT open the door for anyone but me. Including room service.” 

Nick walked past them and they pulled his copy of Harry’s room key out and opened the door motioning them inside.

When Harry woke Louis up to kiss him goodbye before going to hair and makeup before the interview he was naked under the covers and Louis felt with certainty that Harry had rode him hard.

Harry chuckled at Louis wince, he felt a similar burn on his cock, “I think we went for it without lube.”

Louis leaned up and kissed Harry sweetly, "I'm sure it was great anyway. What time will you be back?" 

Harry nuzzled his nose against Louis' and lightly brushed their lips together, "Should be by 1, if you get bored-"

Louis cut him off with a kiss then pulled back and smiled, "I'm a big boy Haz, I can find a way to entertain myself in a 5-star hotel with a heated pool and complimentary spa.

Harry looked at Louis with adoring eyes, all weekend Harry had barely had any free time to spend with Louis, and every time he came home to Louis he expected indignation or anger or frustration, but Louis surprised him each time, instead of staying in the hotel room all day he'd instead introduced himself to Harry's crew. 

He helped Lou, his stylist, make a line up for the hair styles he'd be rocking on tour, he spent time with Matt picking out what suits he should wear, time with Alina picking snacks and the presents he gave the crew at the beginning of each tour, he explored the city, networked with producers and other writers, and always seemed to welcome him excitedly every time he arrived. 

When the weekend had been extended to a full on week of prep Harry had expected Louis to be angry and want to go home, but he said he was having fun, he liked getting to order each hotel's entire desert menu for them to share and somehow managed to talk every hotel manager into letting them do laundry cart races down the hallways. 

At night Louis would help him practice for interviews, or practice vocals then they would watch movies or worship one another's bodies.

When one week had turned into three weeks Louis had understood and encouraged him to accept certain promotional photo shoots and the like. 

They just seemed to work, no matter what city or how hectic Harry's schedule, they seemed to find a balance and a perfect rhythm. 

Last night they had gone out to celebrate Louis agreeing to come on tour with him. Louis had been hesitant but Harry had insisted and it had been wonderful. They had danced and then done Karaoke to Whitney Houston's _I Will Always Love You_ very drunkenly. 

Liam was probably going to tear him a new one at some point today for sneaking out without him but Harry just smiled because having a night with just Louis as a normal couple had been worth it.

Harry snuck one last Kiss before grabbing a hair tie from the night table and twisting his hair into a bun. 

He closed the hotel door quietly with an anticipatory smile on his face for when he’d get to see Louis again. 

When he turned around he squealed as he came face to face with a very angry, arms cross, Liam Payne.

Liam pressed his lips together for a moment then spoke, “I am very angry with you. So very angry....but today is going to be a tough day, which will be lesson enough, and I want you to know that I am here. If you need me I am here.

He motioned down the hall to the conference room where he was meeting his team before today’s big interview where he would kick off his tour.

As they approached the conference room he heard multiple phones going off, loud conversations and terse arguments and when Liam opened the door the room went silent and he came face to face with a board of pictures and tabloid copies. 

All of them, every single one, had pictures of him and Louis on them.


	10. Love Me Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry face the consequences of their rendezvous.

Harry sat silently as the group of publicist talked at him. 

Nick had been yelling through the phone for almost an hour exchanging threats back and forth and reminding news outlets of favors he was owed.

Nick hung up and sighed, rubbing his temples, “I’m calling in every favor. Do you know how long I’ve work to accumulate those?!” He yelled at Harry for the 5th time.

Nick collapsed next to Niall who had been sitting silently on the couch reviewing both Harry and Louis’ contracts. 

Liam put a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder and handed him a water bottle before stepping back.

Niall took his reading glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed, head tilted down in defeat.

That’s when Harry felt the weight of everything. 

If Niall couldn't find a way out of the two ultimatums he was given then no one could.

Niall looked up at Harry, the apology clear in his eyes, “It’s up to you how we proceed Harry.”

Harry ran his hands through his already tousled hair, “If I could just talk to Lou....he deserves to have a say....I just...I...” His voice broke.

Harry knew no matter which decision he made that he would hurt Louis.

Harry groaned in frustration, “Why can’t we just go with my idea? I’ll just come out.”

Niall frowned but Nick was the one who spoke up first, “Tell me that Louis is your forever person. Tell me he is worth your years of hard work being destroyed, your career being basically over. 

Tell me he’s worth your mom losing her charities and your sister losing her bakery and her art gallery. Tell me this relationship is worth more than Louis’ mom’s medical care. Tell me he’ll stay by your side through it all. If you tell me that then I’ll follow you to the bottom of the sea as this ship sinks.

Harry opened and closed his mouth again and again. 

Nick pressed, “We have 1 hour. Which is it? Are we creating a pen name for Louis and hiring a female to take credit for his work or is Louis going in the closet?”

*

Louis lounged around the hotel room after returning from some shopping for souvenirs for his family. 

He turned on the tele which would soon have his very sexy boyfriend being interviewed.

He smiled as the Late Late Show with James Corden began. He laughed through the skits and smiled as Harry was introduced and called on stage while the audience went wild. 

Harry looked tired and a pang of guilt gnawed at Louis. He would have to make sure not to let Harry talk him into late night adventures before work days anymore.

Harry sang _Little Things_ and his eyes filled with tears half way through the song. 

He sang two more of his older songs then sat down with James who asked about his up upcoming tour, any plans for future movie roles....and then Louis’ heart froze.

On the prompter was a picture of them on the Karaoke stage singing to each other face to face. 

The look they exchanged was intimate and their fingertips brushed together.

Louis cursed under his breath and turned the TV volume up.

James raised an eyebrow, “So this is just a friend then?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, of course. We’ve also been working on my upcoming album together.”

James made a plug of the album which would release the day before the first arena show. 

James asked why they, him and Louis, seemed so close.

Harry sighed, “We just get on well. We joke around a lot and try and make each other uncomfortable with doing things like that,” he points at the picture, “To see which of us backs out first. Big daredevils, we are.”

Louis felt his chest tighten.

James laughed, “Yeah me and my mates get on like this too sometimes. It’s a competition innit?”

“Yeah, yeah, course.”

James nods and smiles, “He’s pretty cute would you say girls?”

The girls in the audience giggle and cheer and Harry’s jaw tightens despite his smile. Louis is sure that it’s only something he notices, but he’s used to the very subtle expression changes that make up Harry Styles.

James grins, “So there’s obviously some interest. Tell us Harry, is Mr. Tomlinson single?”

Harry shakes his head, “Sorry girls, he is very much taken. He’s in a serious and committed relationship.”

Louis’ heart somersaults and flutters, his skin feels slight with lighting. He prepares, even though he hadn’t planned on being part of Harry’s coming out story he knew Harry would explains and-

“He has a very lovely girlfriend. Her name is Eleanor. They’ve been together for about 3 years. They let me tag along as their third wheel.”

Louis felt stunned. Betrayed. Lost. Foolish. Then he stopped feeling. Louis shut down his emotions.

*

When Harry ran into the hotel room he was frantic, he was sure Louis would be gone, but he wasn't. 

Louis sat on the edge of their bed and watched Harry. 

Harry closed the hotel door behind himself and locked it then took a hesitant step towards Louis, “Louis I can explain. I didn’t-“

“Stop.” Louis voice is soft but commanding and not to be argued with.

Louis took his shirt off and then stood and slipped out of his jeans, revealing a pair of green lace boxer briefs. He looked at Harry, “Take your clothes off.”

Harry rushed to comply, eager to destroy the distance between them. 

He approached Louis after he’s naked and kissed him. Louis kissed back hard at first and then ever so gentle. 

Harry reached around to grip Louis ass with one hand while he slipped the fingers of his other hand into their kiss.

Louis pulled back and shook his head, “No, tonight I make love to you.”

Harry felt his breath stutter, he’d begged and begged Louis to just take him, but Louis kept insisting they should wait. 

Harry had asked him _why_ one time and Louis had smiled, “I’ll make love to you the day that I know I’ve given you so much of me and my heart that you could destroy me.”

Harry nodded, “Okay baby. I’m ready.”

Louis pushed Harry back onto the mattress and kneeled between his spread legs before covering Harry’s body with his own and kissing Harry until he was senseless and rutting desperately against their abdomens just to have some friction.

Louis kissed down Harry’s entire body kissing each of his extra nipples with playful desire before going all the way down and taking Harry into his mouth all the way into his throat.

After Harry was writhing and begging Louis began to work him open with his saliva-wettened fingers.

He edged Harry again and again before pulling back and grabbing their lube and slathering it onto his fingers, but before he webt back to openings Harry up for him he works his puckered hole with his tongue.

Harry moaned loudly, crying out his name again and again, begging him to slip inside.

Harry gripped the sheets feeling Louis everywhere on his body. His touch burning permanently into Harry’s mind.

Louis worked him open with his lubed fingers and then started slathering his hard cock with a generous amount of lube. 

He kissed up Harry’s body until their lips are pressed together again in a soft and at the same time desperate kisses. 

Louis slowed his kisses as he began to push into Harry. After he felt the head of his cock breach past the entry ring of muscles of Louis channel he pulled back slightly and searched Harry’s face, “Are you okay?”

Harry nodded quickly and whimpered as he wrapped his arms up and around Louis’ shoulders, “Yes...yes... more....please... deeper....more.”

Louis pressed in further and shuddered at the feeling of Harry around him, of being inside Harry, of being one with him....

He reminded himself not to cry, he didn't want Harry to remember this as a bad memory.

Louis sunk into Harry until he was down to the base of his cock.

He moved Harry’s hands to either side of his head and intertwined their fingers together.

Harry surrendered to Louis completely. 

Where Louis would have fought for control and dominance Harry instead gave himself over to Louis completely.

Harry watched Louis’ face intensely while they made love, trying to remember every single feature somehow. 

Louis had Harry flip onto his stomach before slipping back into his warmth and then he lay his weight over Harry’s back deliciously and Harry sunk down into the mattress allowing for Louis to boss him around.

Louis placed a hand on Harry’s hips and used his other arm to wrap around Harry’s chest. He thrust in slowly and deeply again and again until Harry came completely undone beneath him. 

He thrust longer and harder and faster after Harry cums and Harry mewls and moans and Louis just thrusts harder. 

Harry gasps, “Oh my god! Oh god! I’m going to....oh god....again... how....I’m going to.....”

Harry moans half choked moans and then he cums again taking Louis over the edge with him this time.

They lay in each other’s arms afterwards and Louis waited silently until he heard Harry’s breathing even, then he got out of the bed and grabbed his packed suitcase.

He looked back at Harry one more time, then he closed the door behind him, saying goodbye to his last true chance at happiness. 

Zayn stood outside the door in the hallway, “Come on Lou. Let’s go home.”


	11. Calling out for Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis goes back home

Zayn looked at the picture on his phone screen of Liam laying in his bed smiling up at him. 

Zayn had been straddling him when he took the picture, they had just gotten down making love, and Liam had told him he still loved him and Zayn had wanted to capture the moment to he could paint it later.

Now seeing the picture on his phone screen just made his chest ache because it meant Liam was callling him again.

He couldn’t answer. He couldn’t pick up just to hear Liam tell him they were done. That he’d fucked up one too many times, and Liam deserved better.

Louis snuggled closer to him and laid his head in the crook of Zayn’s armpit and threw his arm and one leg across his body.

Zayn chest warmed and he smiled. 

Louis mumble Harry’s name in his sleep.

Zayn’s smile fell and he remembered the amounts of anger he had towards Harry. He’d hurt Louis so badly and pulled him away from Liam in result.

His phone buzzed again and he couldn’t stop himself from answering. His breathing became shallow as he waited to hear Liam’s voice.

Liam didn’t speak, Liam could hear Zayn’s sharp, short breaths.

Zayn felt a knot in his throat, choking him, but he spoke threw it, “Just do it. Rip it off like a bandaid. I know I fucked up, I know I promised-“

Liam cut him off, “I quit my job and I’m at the airport. If you meant what you said....if you really meant it....tell me where you are and I’ll be there and we’ll help Louis together.”

Zayn felt a rush of air fill his lungs, he croaked, “What?”

Liam rolled his eyes and pulled the phone away from his face to glare at it, the pressed it back to his ear, “Was I not speaking English? Or was that a ‘I was full of shit and don’t actually want to marry you’ What?”

Zayn slipped out of Louis arms and whisper yelled, “No!”

Liam teased, “No you _don’t_ want to marry me?”

Zayn panicked, “What?! Yes! I mean, No! Oh shit! Liam!”

Liam chuckled lightly, “You’re sending some mixed messages.”

Louis’ eyes flitted open and he watched as Zayn paced and ran his hands through his messy midnight colored hair, “Z?”

Liam heard Louis’ voice, “Is that Louis?”

Zayn felt his stomach sunk, “We we’re just sleeping! I swear! He was sad and I-“

Liam snorted, “Calm down before you get an aneurysm. I know you aren’t _sleeping_ with Louis. So....”

Zayn felt tears burn his eyes and he let out a relieved sob, “Yes baby. Yes. I want to marry you. I want 10 babies. I want a house with a picket fence and a gallery in the back. I want you. I want you so bad.”

Louis sat up in his bed now, eyes wide and jaw slack.

Liam closed his eyes on the other end of the line as he let his head fall back and hit the wall he'd been sitting against, "Oh, thank God...I already told my mum....and yours.....that would have been dreadfully awkward." 

Zayn wiped at his eyes and grinned, "Oh yes, we wouldn't want to make you look bad. It's the only reason we're committing to being stuck together forever." 

Liam chuckled softly, "Well, that, and someone has to deflate your giant head once in a while." 

Zayn put Liam on hold while he asked Louis if it was okay for him to give his family's home address to Liam, Louis just silently nodded. 

After their call ended Louis sat on the bed with his bent legs hugged to his chest and his chin resting on top of his knees, "How did I not know about this Z? How have I been so caught up in my own fucked up life that I couldn't be there for you?"

Zayn clutched his phone in his hand and looked at Louis, he seemed so small and vulnerable, "Louis...this isn't on you mate, I just couldn't find a way to tell you about Liam when you were getting your heart broken by Stan and then your mum got sick and then....then we were broken up and I couldn't talk about him."

"You broke up because of _me_. How is it that you're still my friend? I'm such a selfish prick!"

Zayn scrambled to the bed and pulled a resistant Louis onto his lap, cradling him against his chest, "No babe, quite the opposite, you're so selfless that if I had told you you would have taken my heartbreak and stacked it on top of all the things you were going through, and you would have stayed and been miserable here and you'd have put a smile on your face and pretended you were okay." 

"You're engaged. You're in love and engaged and you **left** your soulmate behind just to come to my rescue again even though he might not have forgiven you! How is that okay?" Louis argued.

Zayn was quiet for a moment and then he kissed the top of Louis head, "You loved me at my worst, when I was the shittiest version of myself that I could possibly be, struggling to stay sober, you loved me. You spent money you didn't have and halfway starved to get me into a good rehab program and you visited every.single.day. even when I refused to see you, you were there. You were there when I was at my darkest too, when my anxiety and my depression were overlords in my head, you were there. You never bring it up, but I remember I called you one time, when you were still living here in England, and I told you I was struggling and you sold your favorite signed footie jersey and took the next flight out to me." 

Louis snuggled closer, "Well you're my person." 

"You're my person too." Zayn agreed, then added, "Do you think Liam could join our little cult?"

Louis shrugged, "I don't know, he liked to sing old 80's pop songs at random....I guess I could deal with it forever." 

Zayn laughed and squeezed Louis tight, "He's great, you'll love him."

Louis laughed, "You know I've spent the last 3 weeks with him right? We played FIFA and chess and even shared a plate of chips at a pub. Liam is great, and he's so inconspicuously sassy. He even helped me do a few pranks on Nick." 

Zayn laughed, "Oh really? I never heard about that."

Louis laughed, "Well if you did he would get sued into homelessness so it makes sense that you don't know."

Zayn was about to suggest that they go back to bed but Louis scrambled out of his arms and sprinted towards his bathroom. 

Zayn slipped out of bed and followed him into the bathroom, Louis was hunched over the toilet throwing up, Zayn cursed and grabbed a towel and ran it under the cold water of the sink faucet. 

He pressed the cold towel at the back of Louis neck and his hand against Louis' forehead, "Lou, this has been going on for the past two weeks, we need to get you to a physician." 

Zayn's phone rang again and he answered it thinking it was Liam, "Baby not now I-"

Harry's voice flooded the line, "Oh thank god! Please don't hang up! Please I've been calling for over a month! Zayn I just need to-"

Zayn's voice was sharp and angry, "Fuck you." He hung up. 

He'd already talked to Harry weeks ago when they'd first arrived and Harry had called every single half hour for 72 hours. Harry had apologized and begged for him to let him talk to Louis and explain. 

Zayn had cursed him out and reminded him that he had closeted a proud gay man against his will and that now Louis was stuck either coming out and making Harry a liar and putting his career at risk, which Louis wouldn't do, or he could conform to the lie if he hoped to be somewhat successful as a write and musician.

Louis had never wanted to be a secretly gay man, he had wanted to succeed despite the difficulties that LGBTQ+ community members faced in professional industries. He wanted to be someone that a confused teen could look to as an example of being queer and proud and being successful. Now that was tarnished. 

Harry had tried to explain his side but Zayn had been too angry because he'd lost Liam again. 

Louis had found comfort in being back home and anytime that any news show or magazine showed or mentioned Harry he would cry. His mom and sisters had done a good job of content control, but it was hard to avoid Harry Styles when he was becoming a household name. 

He'd just landed a role as the next James Bond and his tour was completely sold out, his meet and greets were sold out, his albums, even the CD copies, were on back order......which on the bright side meant that Louis was quickly becoming a very, very wealthy man and very, very sought after writer. 

He'd gotten requests from Beyonce to Ed Sheeran to Coldplay and Bruno Mars. Louis had turned them down which Zayn had urged him against because that could very well be the end of his career, but it had instead pivoted him into being the most desired writer. 

Louis slumped back once his stomach was empty and he groaned, "I don't understand why the hell my stomachs bein' so sensitive. I can't even think about-" He gagged.

Zayn laughed, "I can't believe you hate eggs all of a sudden."

Louis gagged and leaned forward to the toilet at the very name 'eggs'. 

Zayn winced, "My bad." 

After a while Louis got to his feet on shaky legs and made his way to the sink rinsing his mouth out, "What if.....what if I have cancer....like me mum...." 

Zayn shook his head, "No. You don't, don't say that. It's probably just the flu." 

"The flu? For two weeks." Louis splashed water onto his face, "Tell me about you and Liam." 

Zayn smiled, "What do you want to know?"

"Everything." 

Zayn helped Louis back to bed and told him about Liam while he played with his hair.

When they woke up the next morning Louis entire family was already packing boxes into the moving truck. When Louis had gotten his first Royalties check the first thing he had done was go house shopping with Zayn and his mom. 

They had found a beautiful 3 story house with plenty of room for all of his siblings, an enclosed extremely spacious garden equipped with a play ground and a fenced pool. The house was in a safe, gated community, with almost a kilometer between every house. 

His mom shined like the brightest sun as she put together breakfast with the only unpacked pan and griddle. The twins ran around shooting each other with Nerf guns, weaving between the feet of their older siblings and their very patient father. 

There was banter and laughing that filled the almost vacant house. The movers worked quick with the help of his family. 

Johannah stepped towards them and kissed Louis and then Zayn.

Louis stole a piece of ham, "Mum, you could have woken us up when the movers got here." 

She shrugged, "Zayn's fiance has been helping out." 

Zayn and Louis both nodded casually and then their eyes zoomed to Johannah who was standing with her hands to her hips with a spatula still in one hand, "I see we keep secrets in this family now." 

Zayn went red, "Jay...I..." 

Louis raised an eyebrow as he spotted Liam through the open door..... shirtless, his body glistening with sweat, his shirt tied like a bandanna around his head, his cut and muscular body fully flexed, "Jeesus.....I didn't know he looked like _that_ under all that clothes he usually wears....My god.... Mom, do you have something I could fan myself with?"

Zayn spun around at a neck-breaking speed, when his eyes found Liam he was smiling sweetly at Phoebe as she handed him a glass of water. He took the glass and took a drink and then the fucking bastard poured some down the front of his chest before handing the glass back to Phoebe. 

Jay fanned a open-mouthed Louis as she chuckled, "He's quite fit Zayny." 

Zayn flexed his legs to keep himself from getting hard right there in front of the woman who was like a mother to him. 

Louis snickered, "He can definitely join the cult now." 

Zayn turned and glared at him, "Paws off." 

Louis smirked, "What about my-"

Jay swatted the back of his head, "Don't you dare finish that sentence Lou."

Louis laughed and walked to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle, "Do you think he'd do that thing where he pours the water on his pecks again if I take this to him?"

Zayn flipped Louis off, "Prick." 

Louis grinned a shit-eating grin, "I mean I could pour water there too but-"

Zayn all but growled at Louis, "He's mine." 

Louis grinned wider and Jay smiled amused, "Looks like we finally found the one thing Zayn won't give to you. You can have the moon and all the stars if you ask, but not a Liam Payne." 

Louis laughed, "So who's switching the last name? Liam Malik or Zayn Payne?" He scoffed, "Zayn Payne," He laughed, "I like it, it Rhymes."

Zayn's face softened, "He wants my last name."

Louis could hear the breathlessness in Zayn's voice. 

Liam turned and saw them gawking at him and he smirked and flexed his arms with extreme exaggeration. 

The three of them rolled their eyes and turned their backs to him.

Zayn rubbed his eyes and yawned, "Is the pot still out?"

Johanna motioned to a cabinet, "Course. Didn't need World War Three happening today." 

Zayn yawned again and grabbed the pot, "So Louis threw up again last night."

Louis growled, "Z! What the hell!"

"You won't listen to me." 

Johanna frowned, "That's it, you're going to the physician even if I have to drag you there myself." 

Louis sighed, "Fine, I'll go after we get settled into the new house." 

She shook her head, "No. Today."

"Mum-"

"Please Lou. I can't lose you baby." 

Zayn nodded, "Exactly. What she said. I mean who else is supposed to be my best man if you die?"

Louis gaped, "You want me to be your best man?" 

Zayn rolled his eyes, "No, I'm going to ask the Pope." 

"Fuck off Z." Louis said as he walked around and wrapped his arms around Zayn's waist. 

Liam snuck up and wrapped his arms around the both of them, "Group hugs are my favorite!"

The fabric of Zayn's shirt rubbed against Louis' chest and he winced, "Ow....my nips are sore." 

Zayn scrunched his face, "Gross, now your mom knows you're rough on your nips when you wank off." 

Jay covered her ears, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

The one connected TV came on and it was Harry being interviewed . 

Jay reached for the remote but Louis stopped her as he took Harry's appearance in. 

Harry's cheeks were hallowed in and he had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep which were still visible even with makeup. His smile didn't reach his eyes. 

Zayn reached for the remote, it hurt him to see Harry like that, even if he was mad at him. 

Louis' chest tightened insurmountably, “He looks so thin.....”

The woman interviewing him smiled, “So is it true you parted ways with Nick Grimshaw last weekend?”

Harry’s forced smile faded, “Next question.” His voice sounded tense and hollow. 

Zayn whispered, “Lou come on, let’s change”

“No.”

The woman smiled, “You have a new song for us?”

Harry nodded and stood up and all but staggered to the stage.

Liam cursed, “Fuck....is he drunk?”

Zayn nodded, “Yeah, I think so.”

Harry walked up to the mic, “Hello beautiful people. I have....I have a new song. It’s for a very special person,” he scoffed, “Who’s probably not listening and doesn’t give a shit about my song.”

The cheering crowd quieted and Harry laughed, “No, no, please, keep cheering. Go on, cheer for the farce I’ve become.”

Louis inhaled sharply, “...Oh Hazzah....I need to call him.”

Zayn opened his mouth to protest but he looked at Harry again, Harry who wasn’t the kindest person he’d ever met, Harry who had been like his and Liam’s love child.

Liam and Zayn met eyes and then Liam pressed his lips together before letting out a heavy sigh, “I’m going to call Nick and Niall.”

Their attention snapped back to the TV as Harry began to sing.

Harry closed his eyes, imagining Louis was out in the audience,  
“Sweet creature  
Had another talk about where it's going wrong  
But we're still young  
We don't know where we're going  
But we know where we belong  
And oh we started  
Two hearts in one home  
It's hard when we argue  
We're both stubborn  
I know, but oh  
Sweet creature, sweet creature  
Wherever I go, you bring me home  
Sweet creature, sweet creature  
When I run out of road, you bring me home.”

Louis rubbed at his eyes angrily.

Liam rang Nick and Nick’s voice came across loud and angry, “What the hell do you want? I’m busy.”

Liam rolled his eyes and put the phone on speaker, “Hey I’m great, how are you Nick?”

Nick growled, “I’m fucking great! Found damage control for the twat who fired me is exactly how I pictured my dream career working out.”

Louis spoke quietly, “He really fires you?”

Nick breathed in sharply, “Lou? Holy shit Lou! Is that you? Of course it’s you....Lou, you need to come back, Harry is killing himself. He’s not eating or sleeping and he’s completely blown off interviews and meet and greets. They’re wanting to cancel his tour and bench him indefinitely. The producers for James Bond are trying to find a way to cancel their offer.

We’ve been trying to get your address but the label refused to give us the information and Zayn was gone and then Liam fucking left!”

Louis felt a sharp pain in his chest, “Nick-“

“I know Lou. I know what happened wasn’t fair to you but he tried, he really tried to fight for you. He wanted to ask you what he should do, but they wouldn’t let him.....

It was between what he did or you not getting any recognition for your work.”

Louis’ eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

Nick ran his fingers through his hair and motioned to Niall, “Niall you explain.”

Niall grabbed the phone, “It was in the contract you signed, it gave authority to the label to publish your songs under a pseudonym and have someone hired to represent that name. 

They wanted to hire an actress to play the role of being the song writer Harry worked with and do a whole whirlwind romance angle on the promo.”

Louis stepped back clutching his abdomen and the world spun around him. The edges of his vision blacked out and he felt himself falling.

When he woke up he was laying back in his bed and Liam and Zayn were sitting at the edge of the bed whispering.

Louis sat up, “Hey can I borrow one of your phones please.”

He’d destroyed his phone weeks back when Harry wouldn’t stop calling and texting.

Zayn frowned, “Lou just rest up. I called my doctor, he’s flying out. He’ll be here tonight.”

Louis shook his head, “I’m fine. Just give me your damned phone.”

Zayn reluctantly handed Louis his phone, “Harry follows you right?”

Zayn nodded and frowned harder, “Lou, what are you doing?”

“Grab my keyboard or guitar, whichever isn’t packed yet.”

Liam grabbed the guitar from the corner stand in the room and handed it to Louis. 

Louis tuned it and then handed the the phone to Zayn after opening Twitter up , “Live stream me.”

Liam’s eyebrows shot up, “You sing?”

Louis gave him a quick nod and looked to Zayn, “Tell me when.”

Zayn turns the light on and pointed the phone camera at Louis and gave him a nod.

Louis cleared his throat, “Hey guys, you have no idea who I am, but I have a song to share with you. Pardon my voice.”

He started playing the song he’d been working on for the past few weeks.

“Make a little conversation  
So long, I've been waiting to let go of myself and feel alive  
So many nights I thought it over  
Told myself I kind of liked her  
But there was something missing in her eyes  
I was stumbling  
Looking in the dark, with an empty heart  
But you say, you feel the same  
Could we ever be enough?  
Baby, we could be enough  
And it's alright  
Calling out for somebody to hold tonight  
When you're lost, I'll find a way and I'll be your light  
You will never feel like you're alone  
I'll make this feel like home  
So hard that I couldn't take it  
Want to wake up and see your face  
And remember how good it was being here last night  
Still high with a little feeling  
I see the smile as it starts to creep in  
It was there, I saw it in your eyes  
I was stumbling  
Looking in the dark, with an empty heart  
But you say you feel the same  
Could we ever be enough?....”

He stopped and took a deep breath trying to keep himself from crying, “Sorry guys. I’m a bit sensitive. I’ll post a proper studio recording of you like it.”

Zayn’s notification were already going haywire and he was getting more and more followers by the second.

Liam pulled his phone out and his eyes went wide, “Lou, you’re going. Viral.”


	12. Kiwi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry flies to England to find out what Louis needs to tell him in person

Harry groaned as Nick crashed two giant pans together, "What are you even doin' here? I thought I fired you."

Nick rolled his eyes, "Don't remind me of your stupid choices. Come on get up. I want to show you something."

"If you're going to show me how drunk I was during the interview, I don't want to see."

Nick clashed the pans together, "GET. UP."

Harry rolled off the side of the bed, his head pounding, his mouth dry, "I'm changing my locks."

"You said that last week too." Nick quipped as he picked up Harry's discarded laundry from his floor, "You're stuck with me Harry. Just accept it."

"Why do you even care? I'm not paying you to be here. Why are you here?"

Nick stuffed the clothes into the empty hamper and turned to look at Harry with his hands firmly on his hips, "Harry, I've been your manager since you were 16, do you really think that in all those years I've only cared for you because you paid me? Do you think that I refused to take any other artists on and dropped all my other ones because I cared about making all the money I could make? I'm invested in you for more than just money."

Harry took what Nick said in and then he thought about all the hurt he felt....maybe if he....

Harry pulled his shirt off over his head and then hooked his fingers into his shorts and pulled them down along with his briefs. Nick balked, "What in the hell-oh God Harry! That's not what I bloody meant!" He covered his eyes, "For fucks sake pull your shorts on!"

Harry walked towards Nick without putting his clothes back on and pulled Nicks hands from his eyes and placed them on his bare chest, "Are you sure?"

Nick shoved him back, "Yes. I am very sure. I am also sure that it's very very asshole-y of you to come on to me when we both know that you're still in love with Louis. What if I actually did have feelings for you, which I don't, because ew, but what if I did?"

Harry hugged himself, "Then why are you invested in me? Why do you care?" 

Nick walked over to Harry's discarded shorts and tossed them to him, "When you came along I was so jaded, all the talent I'd ever represents was so shallow and fake and put on this 'I'm a good person' persona only when it was convenient or they needed good press....you- you bought me a birthday present that first year and when I saw it on my desk I assumed your assistant bought me a present for you like my other clients, but when I went to thank her she was confused and said you had asked her not to get me a present. When I opened that box and it had toe socks and home made cookies inside of it I became determined to keep that goodness in you." 

Harry slipped the shorts on and pressed his lips together, averting his eyes to the side.

Nick walked past him, "Come on, this will make your day." 

Harry scoffed, "Doubtful." 

Nick sat him on the sofa and then turned the large flat screen on and pulled up twitter, Harry huffed, "Really? Are you really going to try and use my fans against me? Show how they're all worried and how I'm a role model for them?"

Nick snorted, "Wish I would have thought of that, but no, that's not what I'm showing you." He pulled up Zayn's Twitter and Harry was about to make a quip but his words got lodged in his throat as a still frame of Louis holding a guitar popped up. He reached for the remote in Nick's hand, "Play it!" 

Nick held the remote away from Harry, "Calm down. I'm about to play it."

"Now!"

"Relax." He pressed play . 

Harry watched enraptured, "He's wearing my shirt." He whispered in awe, "Do you hear his voice? He sound....God, his voice is.....I never heard him sing like that." 

Louis voice broke towards the end and he apologized for being emotional and Harry wanted to come across the screen and hold him and kiss him and tell him thank you because he finally felt alive again. He realized he was crying as he felt a droplet roll down his cheek and he wiped at his eyes, "He's my home Nick....he's....." His body shook as he devolved into a sobbing mess and Nick side-hugged him, "He sent me the address and told me he needs to talk to you about something important and that he'd rather do it in person because it's something you won't believe, but he understands if you can't come because he knows you're a busy superstar." 

His chest tightened, "Did he say it in his sassy voice?" Nick snorted, "He has an _un_ sassy voice? That's new." 

Harry laughed through his tears, "I miss him. I miss him so much. This has been the worst month of my life." 

"From what Liam told me it has not been any easier for Louis."

Harry felt a bitter taste in his mouth, "Liam knew where he was?" Nick sighed, "Liam is not to blame, he was just being a good friend and a good Fiance." 

"Well what about me? Him AND Zayn abandoned me! Wait? Fiance?" Harry felt his lips turn up into a smile, the first genuine smile in a month. 

Nick shrugged, "You were the one that fucked up, I'm sure they would have been here with you if Louis was the one that fucked up. Yes, Fiance, apparently it just happened before the whole Louis debacle." 

Harry opened his mouth to ask Nick for help with his concert schedule but Nick held up a hand and informed him that it was already taken care of and then told him that he was also hiring himself back as his manager and Niall as his lawyer and that he was no longer allowed to fire them. 

*  
Louis pushed the cart around the market in Doncaster, only half-aware of the people around him. He couldn't believe how his life was turning out, it was like a horror movie wrapped up in sci-fi and romance. He sighed as he grabbed a gallon of milk and a carton of eggs, he was honestly surprised he hadn't spontaneously exploded after his exam with Zayn's concierge doctor, who Liam had made sign an NDA even though his doctor oath was practically the same thing. 

"Lou?" A familiar voice which had once made his pulse race called to him, "Lou! Hey!" The enthusiasm in the voice did nothing for his libido and nothing for his heart. He kept walking, ignoring the man he had once wanted to grow old with. 

As he reached the aisle with the sauces he felt two strong arms wrap around from behind him and a familiar cologne filled his nostrils, but instead of turning him on and making his knees weak like it once had, it made him nauseous, just like the feel of his body against him, "Get the fuck off me." 

"But baby...I've missed you so much.....I've craved to hold you like this again....and-"

"Get off me. Now." 

Liam's voice growled from behind him, "He said let go, you better listen unless you want a broken arm." 

"Li, I got this. Stan, get your fucking," Louis stomped his heel down into Stan's foot, "Filthy," he jabbed his elbow back, "hands," now that Stan's hold had loosened he spun to face him and shoved hard against his chest, "off me!" 

Stan stumbled back, "What the fuck Lou! And who's this wanker? Your faggot boyfriend? You think he can fuck you like I can? Lou, I know you need a real man." 

Louis scowled, "Liam is a million times the man you will ever be! You don't know what being a real man means, you're just a hateful coward. Go home to your **wife** you cheating bastard!" 

Louis turned back towards his cart and called to Liam, "Come on honey bunch, let's go." 

Liam jogged to catch up with him and waited until they were out of ear shot of Stan, "Honey Bunch?" 

"It was either that Baby Cakes....and that's already taken." 

Liam guffawed, "You call Harry Baby Cakes? Oh, that's so fuckin' brilliant!" 

Louis rolled his eyes and ignored Liam, but then he saw the bottle of pills he'd put into the cart, "Liam! I shouldn't be buying those!" 

"Jeff said you need to start taking these, it's important." 

"What if Harry......I'm not going to make plans until I talk to him." 

Liam scolded, "This isn't making plans Louis, this is taking care of your health." 

Louis relented and waited in line quietly until it was their turn to check out, as they got closer to the front of the line he noticed a few girls talking and giggling and pointing at him and then one of them approached him, "Are you Louis Tomlinson?"

Louis' eyebrows furrowed but he nodded, "Yes I am, how do you-"

She squealed loudly, "Oh my gosh! oh my gosh! It's him! It's really him! Can me and my friends take a picture with you? We LOVE your song! We're actually working on a campain to get your song to #1 and get it radio play but we're waiting on the studio version to launch! We LOVE you! OH EM GEE! Please!" 

Louis' eyes were wide, "Um....um, yeah, sure." 

She motioned the other girls over and one of them pulled out a selfie stick and they surrounded him and took several pictures and then they asked him for his autograph and pulled a sharpie out and had him sign their shirts. They asked him if he had a release date for his single yet and he promised them he'd try and get it out soon and they hugged him goodbye and Louis was left standing there stunned. 

Liam sighed, "Great, got away from one famous prick only to get stuck with another." 

Louis blinked slowly, "They liked my voice....they said they liked my voice....." 

"Well of course, your voice is amazing Lou." Liam started putting their groceries onto the check out counter, "Are you nervous for tomorrow?" 

Louis snapped back to the present and shrugged, "I just....I don't know what I'm going to say."

*

Harry looked at the three story Villa with large bay windows and romanesque arches and then his eyes fell to the woman kneeled in front of a flowerbed with two identical girls helping and smiling. 

Phoebe spotted Harry first and motioned with her head to Johanna, Johanna stood and dusted her knees off before turning to face Harry. Harry took in her short chestnut brown hair and kind smile. She walked towards him and when she reached him she pulled him into a hug and Harry felt himself melt into her hug, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I hurt him. I love him, I really love him, I never meant to-"

"Shh...even the best people with the best intentions sometimes make mistakes and they just have to learn from them. I am upset because of how you've not been caring for yourself though, your mum said she kept calling and calling and you never answered her, she's very worried, so is your sister." Jay stroked his hair and kissed his cheek, "Sweet boy, don't cut the people who love you out of your life." 

Harry nodded, "I'll call them, I promise." 

She pulled back and held him at arm's length, "Lou is inside." 

Harry nodded and smiled, he was so glad he had connected his mom to Jay, they were now working together on raising money for some great causes. Jay hadn't wanted to go back to working as a midwife after her recovery but she wouldn't take Louis up on his offer to just stay at home so Harry had asked his mom to call her. 

Anne and Jay had hit it off instantly and Gemma had always wanted sisters so the two families had come together seamlessly, both his step father and Louis' step father had also hit it off and were on a fishing trip together. 

Harry walked towards the house with Nick and Niall falling behind and introducing themselves to Johanna. 

Zayn opened the front door and glared at Harry, "You're too thin and you should have known better than to closet an openly gay man. You know how hard it is to get to a point where you feel comfortable being out and being okay with who you are." Harry looked down, "I know." Zayn couldn't stand it anymore he yanked Harry forward into a hard hug, "Your Dad and I are very disappointed...." Harry laughed into the hug, "For the millionth time, you and Liam are _not_ my parents." 

Zayn guided Harry through the house and into the living room where Louis was sitting on the floor wearing one of Harry's hoodies while he played cars with his little brother. Louis looked up as they stepped in through the round archway and his smile faded. 

Louis could feel the air in his lungs thicken and his heart race faster and faster and his hands fell instinctively to his abdomen, "Harry...." he could hear how breathless he sounded, "Umm, hi." All of a sudden he felt self-conscious, he probably looked homeless with his hair standing up every which way, wearing Harry's giant hoodie and- he was wearing Harry's hoodie,,,, he felt his face heat and he licked his lips nervously, "Umm this is my brother-" Harry smiled, "Earnest." He finished for Louis, "Hey buddy, nice to meet you." 

Earnest narrowed his adorable little eyes at Harry, "Are you Achoo's husband? Are you the bab-?" 

Zayn stepped in and picked Earnest up, "E, why don't you and I go find some ice cream? I think Achoo bought some at the market." 

Harry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Louis' eyes went wide with panic. 

Earnest cheered and put his tiny arms around Zayn, "Awright my Zeezee." 

Louis watched with a smile as Zayn threw a giggling earnest over his shoulder and ran toward the kitchen.

Louis stood up slowly and motioned to the couch, "Sit, please." 

Harry didn't move, he was afraid if he did he would grab Louis and pull him into his arms and kiss him until he pushed him away, "Do you mind if I just stand here?" 

Louis licked his lips again, "You're going to want to sit." 

Harry stepped toward the sofa and sat down but Louis didn't move, they just stared at one another for a long time. 

Louis felt like his chest was in a vice, squeezing tighter and tighter by the minute. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before turning and walking towards a bookcase and pulling out and envelope and then walking over and sitting just a few feet away from Harry. He rubbed the envelope with his thumbs and looked up to meet Harry's curious gaze, "How do you feel about.....children." 

Harry's eyebrows shot up, "Umm, do you mean for you and me? I mean in the future I would love to settle down and have a family." 

"In the future? So not now?" 

Harry's eyebrows knitted, "What?"

Louis handed him the envelope and Harry opened it and pulled out two square ultrasound pictures, his heart fell to the pit of his stomach, burning and aching, tears burned his eyes and he looked down, "You got a girl pregnant?" The question hurt to ask but he had to know. 

Louis balked, "What?! No! Did you even read the bloody thing?" 

Harry looked down at the square pictures again and on the side was the date, time, name of the physician, and......and the patient's name: Louis William Tomlinson, he shook his head, "I don't understand.....are you saying you're......are you saying you're pregnant?" 

He looked up to Louis face and Louis gave one quick nod, "Yes, according to Jeff only .0000001 percent of males are able to bear children and I just so happen to be that .0000001."

Harry had heard of the very rare cases in which men went in for health exams and were advise they had the ability to get pregnant or the one's who were gay and had found out by getting pregnant. They were usually became short time celebrities and often time had offers for reality TV shows. 

Harry spoke slowly his whole body warming, "So that means.....that means I'm....a dad?"

Louis shook his head, "No, you don't have to be. Male pregnancies are usually recommended to be terminated anyways, so I could just have an-" He stopped himself, unable to even say the word, he didn't judge other's for making such a tough choice, but in that moment he realized it just wasn't something _he_ could do, "I could just have a lawyer draw up papers terminating your rights and responsibilities." 

Harry glared at Louis, "You think I would want that?" Louis shrugged, "I don't know Harry, you're young and your career is just going to keep growing and you don't have to-" "Stop. Stop doing that. My career doesn't mean anything without you Louis." 

"Your career is something you've worked on for years, you've only known me for about 5 months. I don't want to trap you or make you feel like this was all some big scheme....I had no idea I had the ability to have children." 

Harry scooted closer but Louis scooted back, "Louis, I don't think you would do that and I don't feel trapped!"

"You just said you only wanted kids in the **future** Harold, you're just confused." 

Harry clenched his jaw, "I'm twenty-two, not fucking five so don't talk to me like I don't know what I want. Don't tell me that I can't possibly make the right choice for me, or that I can't give up whatever I want to! I want you. I want you every day, all day and I want this baby," he waved the pictures around, " _our_ baby." 

Louis held his abdomen again, feeling a warmth wash over him, "You hurt me." 

The words cut Harry like a scalpel, "I know." 

"I trusted you." 

"I know." 

"Nick told me why you did it." Louis said quietly, "He told me what the label did and the options they gave you......" 

Harry caressed the pictures with the utmost gentleness, "Lou I swear, I don't want you to be a secret....and I don't want our baby to be a secret....if that means me losing every dime I have in lawyer fees and fines and starting all over again, then I don't care." 

Louis eyes filled with tears, "I missed you...." 

Harry's eyes snapped up, "What?"

Louis opened his mouth to repeat himself but then Harry's lips were on his and he was being pushed back onto the couch with Harry on top of him but just as quick Harry was gone and cursing "Shit! Shit, shit, shit! Oh God! did I squish the baby?" 

He looked panicked and Louis was too turned on to really register his words for a moment, but when he did he laughed, "Oh Hazzah, you're the biggest dork I've ever known. You can't squish the baby by laying on top of me?" 

"Are you sure?! Where's the doctor? We should check. Just to be safe." 

Louis suppressed another laugh and straightened his face, "Come, let's go see the doctor." He extended his hand for Harry to grab and he led him to the back door and out into the private garden and towards a quaint guest house. 

Once they were inside Louis locked the front door and pulled his hoodie off, "Dr. Styles, I'm ready to be examined." 

Harry's eyes went wide as saucers, "Lewis! Where's the real doctor?!" 

Louis rolled his eyes a slipped his pants off, "I don't need a real doctor, I need you." 

Harry protested, "But what if I-" 

Louis threw his head back and rubbed his face with his palm, "Harry! The baby is fine. Do you think I would put our child in danger?"

Harry shook his head quickly, "No. Of course not!" 

Louis stepped closer hooking his finger's into Harry's belt-loops, "Good. Now get naked." 

Harry felt his cock spring to life and he gasped as Louis lips trailed kissed on hi neck, "Lou....god baby, I missed you." 

Louis slipped his hand into the front of Harry's jeans and palmed his erection, "I can feel that."

Harry moaned, "Lou....oh god Lou...." 

Louis smiled, "Yes Harold?" 

Harry gently pushed Louis back, "You should know I came onto Nick." 

Louis snorted, "Yeah, I know, he told Liam and Liam told Zayn and Zayn told me." 

"You're not mad?" 

"Oh, I'm mad. Don't you worry your pretty little head Harold, you'll be punished for your transgressions." 

Harry's knees went weak, "Oh..." he gasped, "Are you going to....again?"

"Am I going to do what again?" 

"Make love to me...again?"

"Yes, but not today. Today I'm going to fuck you until you forget your own name." 

Harry breathed raggedly barely able to stay standing when all his blood was rushing to his cock, Louis smirked, "You just keep getting hard and harder. Did you like it Harry? Did you like when I slipped inside you?"

Harry nodded desperately, "Yes...Yes....It was the first time in my life I felt complete, I love making love to you Lou, but whenever I thought about you this last month it was always you inside me, because.....because you made me feel whole." 

Louis froze, "You liked bottoming?" Harry pushed against Louis' hand which had stopped stroking him, he moaned, "Yes...I like feeling owned by you, because I am....owned by you, only you." 

Those words made Louis feel drunk and heady, "Fuck Hazzah.....Fuck....."

Harry arched into Louis as his hand began to work his length again, "What did you like about it?"

"The way it felt when you stretched me and filled me and the way you were so gentle, and so caring......I just felt so safe and loved, and I'm glad you're forgiving me Lou, because I wouldn't be able to live without that feeling again."

Louis pulled his hand out of Harry's pants and undid his button and pulled them down to find that Harry wasn't wearing underwear, "You trimmed." 

Harry blushed, "I wasn't-I didn't-I didn't come here thinking.....oh fuck Louis, I swear-"

Louis kissed him, "Hush. It was just an observation." Louis stepped back and slipped out of his boxer briefs then he grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him through the house and up the stares to the loft bedroom that had an glass roof. A large bed and a night stand were the only things that filled the space and Louis instructed for Harry to lay down and then he grabbed a sealed bottle of lube from the drawer. 

Harry watched as Louis tore open the seal, "I got this at the market when Liam said you were on your way....just wanted to be prepared." 

The corned of Harry's lips turned up and his eyes lit up like stars, "Oh." 

Louis opened the Lube and squeezed a generous amount on his erection, "Sorry baby but I'm going to work you open with my cock, I promise to go slow, I'm just not feeling patient enough to do it with my fingers."

Harry nodded, "Yes, please, fill me up Lou."

Louis squeezed the base of his cock and glared at Harry, "Don't say things like that.....I haven't cum in a month and I'm not about to blow preemptively."

Harry blushed, "I haven't in a month either....I couldn't....I missed you." 

Louis instructed Harry to move further up the bed and then placed a pillow underneath his ass before crawling onto the bed and kneeling between his outspread legs. He leaned down over Harry and kissed him, relishing the taste of his lips, he kissed him slow and hard, fast and desperate, sweet and soft....

Harry's hands traveled all over his body again and again as if Louis was the last morsel of food on earth and he was going to devour him. 

Louis grabbed his erection and pushed the tip against Harry's puckered hole and just rubbed the entrance making Harry buck and grind against him. After a few minutes of that he pushed against Harry's entrance and his eyes rolled back at the sensation. He pushed harder and Harry let out a loud cry of half pain- half pleasure. 

Louis massaged Harry's ass gently, kneading the skin and kissing Harry's neck while he whispered sweet words of encouragement into his ear.

Harry reached around and gripped Louis ass and he yanked Louis forward, causing him to slip into him all the way to the hilt. 

They gasped in unison at the sensation and Louis grit his teeth as he felt Harry's muscled canal undulate around him, again and again.

Harry had tears in his eyes and he wasn't sure if it was from pain or relief that he got to have Louis like this again...that he got to have Louis at all. 

Louis fell forward gripping the sheets on either side of Harry, "Someone's even more impatient than me." 

Harry nodded and leaned up to kiss Louis, his legs were shaking but he love the sensation of Louis being inside of him.

Louis started to thrust, but there was something different this time, there was more possessiveness and need and lust. 

Louis moved fast and faster and harder and harder until he felt Harry's warm cum jet onto his chest and abdomen, Louis thrust again and again a few more times until he filled Harry with his seed. 

Harry lay half-dazed while Louis walked to the bathroom and wet a cloth to clean himself and Harry off with, then he climbed into be behind Harry and pulled Harry tight against his chest. He knew their troubles were just beginning but they would face them together.


	13. My Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay been crazy busy getting ready for my next semester of college

“Louis! Louis! Over here! Is it true you cheated on Eleanor?! Who is the baby’s father!? Are you gay??”

“Louis! How does it feel to have the #1 song in 23 countries?”

“Do you know who Harry Styles is secretly in love with? Is it true you guys Are close friends?”

“How do you feel about Zayn Malik’s engagement?”

Liam shoved paparazzi that got to close to him and made sure to block as much of Louis with his body.

“Liam our sources say that you’re marrying Zayn Malik for his money, what do you have to say about that?”

Liam ignored them and keeps moving Louis towards the car.

“Does Zayn top or bottom? How does it feel to sleep next to a murder?”

Liam stops walking and clenches his fists but then Louis grabs his hand and places it in his growing bump reminding Liam that the only thing that mattered was being safe. 

Cameras flashed capturing the moment.

“Is Liam the father of the baby?”

“Are you a surrogate?”

Louis growled, “Why don’t you get a fookin’ real job! Back off, you’re stressing me out and if I lose my babies because of you-“

The paparazzi step back letting them through and Liam opens the back door helping Louis in and the reaching in and buckling him in.

Louis snickers, “Believe it or not being pregnant does not incapacitate my arms and hands.”

Liam mockingly shivers, “I can’t risk Harry AND Zayn both mad at me if something happens.”

He walks to the other side and gets in next to Louis and instructs the driver to take them to Louis house only once he loses the trailing papps.

When they arrive at the house Harry is sitting with Eleanor, all 3 of them, and they all argued over the color of the Nursery.

He couldn’t believe how close they were now but Agatha, Jane, and Macy had become some of their closest friends. 

The triplets were introduced to them when they were still at his parents house, at first Louis had tried to kill Nick when he introduced them but after a long talk they all agreed that keeping up the charade for now would be easier and give them far more privacy throughout the pregnancy.

The girls were kind and sweet and Louis and Harry hadn’t been able to resent them, they had accepted the job to try and get through school with minimal debt.

All three of them switched off on public appearances with Louis and their had done a great job of taking the attention of him and Harry providing them reprieve and making it easier for them to disappear together. 

Harry looked up and spotted Louis and it was as if the sun itself had entered the room, he grinned and stood taking quick strides to embrace Louis, “I missed you.”

Louis inhaled the scent of Harry and it released an unparalleled wave of relief that no matter all the shit they had to deal with he would get to come home to these arms.

After Louis’ song had gone viral he’d decided with Nick, who was also his manager now, to use the momentum to launch his first album. It had charted #1 for 6 weeks straight and Louis had completed a small promo tour consisting of small venues and talk shows. 

Harry had finished his tour and they would sneak away as often as possible to be together, everything had gone well during the past 6 months but then Louis had been at the store reaching for a high shelf and some asshole had shared a picture of his belly. 

Overnight the photo became the talk of every singled fucking tabloid and morning gossip show . He had been sequestered in a hotel for the past week with Harry continuously having to get talked down from just showing up and punching every camera in the face to get him to safety. Nick had insisted they wait until at least some of the interest die down from the silence before extracting Louis from the hotel he was prisoner in, his hormones taking him from pleading with the housekeepers to not put flowers in his room because the smell made him nauseous, to full on yelling at his body guard for not going out to get him a chocolate and pickle pizza. 

Nick and Zayn had recruited the triplets to keep Harry distracted with the nursery since the babies' due date was fast approaching and then they sent Liam to get Louis. 

Louis held onto Harry as Harry rubbed his back soothingly, "How are the little beans?"

Louis bit Harry's chest making him let out a slight squeal, "Ow Lou, what was that for?"

Louis teased, "All you care about now are the babies, didn't even ask how I was."

Harry pulled him as close as he could with Louis evergrowing belly and then whisphered in Louis' ear and whispered conspiratorially, “I just don’t want them to have daddy issues because they think I don’t love them, but don’t worry, you’re still my favorite.”

Louis laughed loudly and felt a hard kick from one of the babies, “I think one of them heard you.”

Harry feigned horror, “Oh no!! It begins.”

Liam had made his way to the couch where Zayn was and was sitting comfortably between his legs with his back agains Zayn’s chest, “Lou, off our feet, you know what Jeff said.”

Zayn tenses, “What? What’s going on? Is Lou okay? Are the babies okay?!”

Liam rolled his eyes, “Jeez calm down would you, before you give yourself a heart attack.”

Harry helped Louis to the couch, “Is everything okay?”

Louis gave Liam a pointed glare, “Everything is dandy, just a little bit of a worry Darcy and William might make an early entrance. He said I should keep travelin’ to a minimum and whatnot.”

Zayn phone rang and he answered with a smile, “Lottie! How are you Love?” His smile fell and he glanced nervously at Louis, “Is it...is it necessary?” Zayn’s face fell his eyes filled with tears, his voice broke when he spoke again, “Understood....hey, I love you.”

Zayn ended the call and the room had gone silent, before Zayn opened his mouth Louis knew, he could feel it in his bones, so he didn’t let him speak, instead he stood and looked at The Eleanors, “Pack me a suitcase Aggy, please darling...grab my suit. Same for Harry Mace, Jane get the car ready.”


	14. New Beginnings and Painful Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY I HAVE BEEN MIA!!!!! I have been having a really hard time with my depression and i've had zero drive to do the things i loved lately. but hey! this is progress!

Louis felt numb as he watched Harry dress Doris and Ernest in all black. Lottie clung to him and cried into his chest, if it wasn't for the babies needing him for sustenance he wouldn't have bothered to get up and have breakfast before his mom's funeral. 

The world was crashing in around him and he hated himself for ever moving away because he hadn't been there to hold his mom's hand as the life faded from her eyes. He hadn't cried, not once, because his siblings were counting on him and his step-dad was barely holding it together. 

His mom had made him a video the night before and he wondered if she had known that she wouldn't be waking up in the morning...he hadn't seen it yet, because if he did he knew he wouldn't be able to keep up the thin facade of strength.

...he'd launched himself at the doctor when he'd said, "At least she passed in her sleep, there was no pain." 

Liam and Zayn had held him back and Jeff was now hovering just a few feet away talking in low whispers with Zayn about how Louis would have to stay in London until after the babies came. 

He untangled Lottie from himself and stood up gently kissing the top of her head before standing and walking past Harry and past the living room where friends and family waited and up the stairs, down the hall to the left, opening his mom's room. He made his way to her side of the closet and pulled out her favorite sweater, bringing it tight against his chest before pulling the soft fabric to his nose and inhaling. 

His chest tightened at the familiar scent, it was the smell of the woman that had defended him against his bigot of a sperm donor, it was the smell of the woman who had cuddled up with him when he was sick or heartbroken, it was the smell of the first person to ever love him unconditionally. 

He climbed into her side of the best with his face pressed against her sweater and closed his eyes.

He felt hot tears stream down his cheeks as he sobbed silently and felt a sharp kick from one of the little ones in his tummy, followed by a sharp pain and a wet feeling between his legs. 

He let out a dry pained laugh and squeezed his eyes shut because of course he'd just ruined the last blanket his mother had every slept with. 

He let out a strangled cry a few minutes later when another sharp stabbing pain overtook him, he breathed in and out slowly, "Harry! Jeff!" 

He heard running and then the door burst open Harry holding Doris under one arm bound into the room, "Are you hurt?!" 

Louis shook his head as he continued to breathe in and out and he pointed at the significant wet spot on the bed.

Harry's eyes went wide and he almost dropped Doris. 

Louis watched as Harry lost his mind for a moment before setting his sibling down and running out into the hallway and bellowing for Jeff. 

Harry scrambled to his side, "This wasn't in the birth plan! We didn't plan for this!" 

Louis couldn't help but laugh, because as heart broken and in pain as he was his own personal Bambi was adorable, "Yeah, it would have been weird if we a made a 'Lou's mom dies' birthing plan."

Harry winced and frowned and then held Louis' hand, "I'm sorry Lou, that's not-" 

"I know." 

Jeff walked in calmly and then stepped towards the master bath and then back into the room, "So I know you wanted to do a water birth and I think we can pull it off in the bathtub in here." 

Louis shook his head, "No. I want to here, on the bed. My mom......I....I think she had a hand in this." 

Anne walked into the room with tearful eyes, "Oh god, it's really time!" 

Harry's mom had organized his mom's entire funeral and she had been taking care of all the younger kids while the rest of them broke apart or shut down. 

She grabbed Louis' other hand, "I'm here for you sweets. I'll be right here in your mum's stead if you'll have me." 

Anne and his mom had become the best of friends and Anne had been with Johanna as she took her last breath. 

Louis nodded as a knot formed in his throat, and it was the craziest thing because when Anne kissed his temple he felt his mother's presence, he heard her soft laugh, her joy.

Jeff cut his pants off because with them being wet pulling them off had not been working. 

Zayn peeked in from the hall anxiously and Louis rolled his eyes, "Just come in will you."

Zayn stepped inside and Jeff sighed, "Okay we need to get into reasonable positions, we're in for some work. Harry why don't you slip in behind Louis and press the cold cloths to his forehead, Zayn and Anne on either side, hand holding. 

Harry asked anxiously, "What cold clothes? I didn't bring any! Oh god!" 

Jeff leveled him with a stare, "Calm down. I will be provided the cold clothes once you're in position." 

Everyone situated themselves just as Louis was having another contraction. 

Harry whispered soothingly into his ear, "I love you baby, you're doing great. Breathe, okay? Just breathe." 

Harry had heard of women and men hating their spouses during birth and he'd tried to prepare himself for it, but Louis wasn't anything like that, Louis leaned back against him and whispered how much he loved him and how he hoped at least one of them had his curls and green eyes. 

Even through the pain Louis was never mean to Harry and it made Harry feel like he was just as much a part of the experience, though consciously he knew that Louis was the one doing most of the work.

After his contractions got closer together Jeff checked his opening and looked up at Louis, "This is going quicker than I expected. Just so you know I've called an ambulance and they are waiting outside in case of any complications, but I don't think there will be any. In a few moments we're going to start pushing, okay?"

Louis nodded and then lay his head back against Harry's chest as another contraction raged through his body, leaving his nerve endings feeling raw, but Harry trailed kissed on the column of his neck and told him how excited he was and that he wanted all of them to be just as smol and adorable as Louis. 

Louis had half growled at the comment but secretly it made him really happy that Harry wanted their babies to look like him. 

"Push." 

And so it began, Louis pushed and pushed and probably broker Zayn and Anne's fingers but when they heard the cry of their first baby it healed something in all of them. 

Jeff grinned, "It's a beautiful baby boy!" 

Louis let out a happy sob and he heard Harry stop breathing for a moment as Jeff laid the bloody, ruddy baby on his bare chest. 

Jeff examined him and made a tsk sound, "Looks like the other one isn't quite ready. You get to take a small break." 

Fifteen minutes later he was pushing again and then he heard a second cry and he felt enveloped in warmth, like his mother was right there i the room with him, right there meeting her first grandchildren. 

Jeff placed their daughter on his chest and then the all cooed at the chubby, dirty babies, like they weren't still dirty and connected to him. 

Jeff gave him an apologetic smile, "I know there's no real reward for this one, but we gotta get the sac out so i can collect the cells for storage." 

Harry and Louis had decided to save the stem cells of their babies in case the worst happened and they got cancer some day. 

Once it was all done Jeff grabbed their son and inspected him before handing him to Anne who had trained as a mid-wife for the past 7 months to make sure she could help with the babies. She took her grandson and got him cleaned up before coming back and handing him over to Harry who had slid out from behind Louis to help. 

The look on Harry's face as him mom handed him his first-born and then after a few more minutes his daughter, made Louis' heart and soul swell with pride and joy and love. Zayn helped clean Louis off with a warm wash cloth and Jeff examined him for tears or hemorrhaging. 

Harry sang softly to his babies, "I want to write you a song....one as beautiful as you are sweet..."

Louis smiled, "You're going to spoil them." 

Harry handed their son to Zayn and then their daughter and Zayn bounced them gently. 

Louis motioned to Zayn, "Go get Liam."

Liam cleared his throat as he peaked in from the hall, "Hi." 

Louis laughed, "Come in Lima Bean. Come meet your niece and nephew."


	15. Always in My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cue the heartache

“Those babies are looking a lot more like Harry Styles don’t you think?” 

“Are you saying they have some secret affair?”

“I mean come on Stacy! Louis was a nobody! Then out of no where he’s one of Harry Styles’ best friends and we see him everywhere! He co-wrote almost every song on Harry’s last album then Harry stops his tour and Louis’ career gets launched by some romantic song he posts on Zayn Malik’s Twitter.”

“So, you’re saying that Harry Styles is secretly in love with Louis? You’re a believer in the Larry Stylinson ship?”

“Umm, no, I think Louis took advantage of Harry and trapped him in with those babies and is now blackmailing Harry into helping him with his career to keep the parentage of the babies a secret.”

Louis threw a diaper at Nick who was sitting on their sofa with William asleep on him with his curly little head on his shoulder, “Turn that shit off!”

Nick blocked the diaper and William stirred before letting out an adorable little sigh and snuggling closer to Nick, “I need to know the rumors so we can get ahead of them!”

“Well apparently I’m some black-mailing cheating asshole!”

Darcy crawled away from him as he tried to put a diaper on her and he let out a frustrated sigh before chasing after her.

She giggled as he caught her and wrestled her into a diaper.

“Harry Styles was seen out shopping for wipes and a thermometer. Is he a supportive friend or secret father? 

Rumors have been circulating about Louis Tomlinson’s adorable twins for almost a year now. Louis Tomlinson joined Harry Styles on his last tour as his opener, and they even did a few duets at some of the shows. Their interactions during interviews and shows are constantly being dissected and fans believe there is a secret relationship between the two.”

Nick let out a soft curse and then switched to another gossip channel.

“Eleanor Calder was seen out with baby William and Darcy, an insider recently confirmed that Eleanor struggled with infertility for a long time before her and her partner Louis decided to conceive through other means. She is an active mom who has been handling a lot of the parenting duties by herself while Louis focuses on his tour with Harry Styles.”

“Where the hell do they even get this bullshit from? Jesus. I’m so sick of it. You said you’d talk to the label about us coming out.”

“I’m trying Lou! I really am! It’s not easy. They’re blocking me at every turn and leaking all this false info so that if you do come out fans will turn against you. I told you going on tour with Harry would have consequences.”

“I just want us to be able to go to the park and for Harry to be able to hold them without it being the end of the world! And I don’t want them to ever think that Harry was ashamed of them, or that he didn’t want to be their dad.”

Nick squeezed William tighter, “I won’t let that happen.”

Liam walked in carrying groceries in one arm and a puppy in the other.

Zayn followed behind him carrying way more bags and then Niall entered with a cake box.

Darcy grabbed onto a chair standing herself up and she pointed at Niall, “Neel!”

Louis rolled his eyes, “She’s such a traitor. She knows Zee and Leem and Neel and Icky but Harry and I don’t get papa or daddy.”

Liam put the groceries on the countertop in the kitchen and then looked around, “Where’s Harry?”

Louis stood up and picked up toys and baby things, “He’s trying to hang up the piñata in the back. The girls are helping him with the other decorations.”

“One-year-olds can’t hit piñatas...” Niall mumbled.

Louis snorted, “Yeah, trust me, we had that talk, but he says his babies deserve piñatas.”

Zayn started unpacking groceries as Liam sat on a bar stool and set the puppy on his lap.

Louis raised an eyebrow, “Please tell me your present isn’t that puppy because we’ve got our hands full and we can’t train a puppy right now.”

Zayn shrugged as he started to boil pasta for the pasta salad, “Umm no, he’s our puppy, we’re practicing to see if maybe we want a baby too.”

Liam rolled his eyes, “He wants a baby and I told him I would probably be a terrible dad and he showed up with a puppy to prove I could totally handle it.”

Louis frowned, “Liam, you’re better than us with the twins. I think you’d make a fantastic father.”

“I’m fucked in the head Louis, I don’t want a kid around that.”

Louis glared, “You are not fucked in the head Liam.”

Niall stepped into the living room with a box of plastic plates and silverware, “Why didn’t you guys cater again?”

Nick stood carefully still cradling William, “Too risky. Plus it would have been more work for you with all the NDA’s so you should be grateful.”

Nick’s Apple Watch buzzed and he sighed, “Well it’s time for that interview.”

Louis sighed and stood up, “I’ll go get Harry.”

* 

Nick had rented out a home a few miles from their private home so they could make the interview and get back to the twins’ birthday party.

Since Louis had had a home birth no one knew the twins’ exact birthday and him and Harry liked it that way.

The interviewer was a petite blonde woman with sharp eyes and Louis found himself flinching away from Harry’s comforting touch as she questioned him about lyrics and his relationship with Eleanor. 

Eventually she tired of him and turned to Harry, “Harry you were recently seen cozied up to Kendall Jenner in a hotel hot tub, are things serious?"

Louis felt his blood go cold in his veins as images of Kendall straddling Harry in a hot tub came up on the screen she’d set up for the interview. They had their mouths pressed together as Harry's hands gripped her hips.

His ears felt like they were ringing and he turned to look at the interviewer, "That is quite cozy innit? When was this Harry? When you went to New York for that Gucci shoot?"

Harry wanted to reach for Louis but he knew he couldn't, "Umm..."

Louis rounded on the interviewer, "And what the hell does the pair of 'em snoggin' have to do with the tour or the album?"

"Well, um, Louis, some fans were want-"

"The fans? You're sure it wasn't the questions your boss told your would get you paid more for?"

Harry reached for Louis, "Lou."

Louis yanked his arm away and stood up, "Don't."

* 

Harry tried to get Louis alone all throughout the twins' party but Louis always managed to find someone to talk to or politely ask him to handle a task. Louis was courteous and friendly but his eyes never crinkled at the corners like they did when he truly smiled. 

When the party ended Louis and the twins disappeared for what Harry assumed was bath time while Harry said goodbyes and helped the clean up crew.

When everyone was finally gone he went up stairs to find Louis zipping up a suitcase.

Harry's chest tightened, "Lou? What are you doing?"

Louis took a deep breath before turning to Harry, "I can't do this anymore.... and I don't want this for our kids."

Harry stepped closer, "If this is about the photos I'm sorry Lou, I just thought it would help with the rumors!"

Louis fought back tears, "I had told you I didn't want you to do it, and we had agreed together that you wouldn't."

"I know. I know, but-"

"No. Don't. No excuses. It's the same as when I had to watch you and Camille all over each other at the launch party even though you said you wouldn't. Or that shoot with Taylor swift where she wore the necklace _I_ bought for you. You keep saying you'll stand up to them and then they promise you a VMA's performance or creative control on a music video and you give in. I know your career is important and there's nothing wrong with that but I'm important too and above all the twins are important."

Harry opened his mouth to protest but Louis continued, "I'm not saying we aren't important to you, but your focus is on you career-"

"No! I don't want any of it without you! I don't!" Harry's voice was thick with tears and Louis cupped his cheek, "You do love, you love it. When you're on stage it's like.....it's like you're the brightest star on a dark night and you enchant people like magic. You were made for this world."

"So were you Louis! The fans love you and you're so talented!"

"Maybe at some point....but I'm a da' now and to me that's the most important job."

Harry frowned, "Are you saying-" 

"No. I'm not. You're a wonderful father Harry but you haven't achieved all your dreams yet...you're young....I shouldn't have called you.....I should have waited-" 

"What?!" Harry was getting angry now, "Are you serious Louis?! You wish you would have kept our babies a secret from me?"

Louis let out a desperate sigh, "Haz....I....I can't live a lie anymore....I can't watch you be this 'womanizer' and have every song you wrote for me linked to someone else and then have pictures of you with that someone else haunting me every time I turn the tele on or go to the market and walk by a magazine rack. Or worse...have to watch you hold and kiss someone else in front of me...while I'm just a few feet away. Once we get settled you're welcome to visit the twins whenever you can or want but-"

"I'll come out! I don't care what the label says I-"

Louis cut him off by gently touching his cheek, "Not for me Harry. You can't do it for me. You're not ready."

"Then for who?"

"For you."

They stared at each other and Louis leaned up on his tip toes kissing Harry gently, "I love you always. You'll always be in my heart."

Harry's voice broke, "Then stay. Please stay."

Louis shook his head, "Its time I start loving myself too."

*  
Harry called to check on the twins every day and they Skyped once a week and Louis always made it clear to them who Harry was, but Harry was busy, he was filming a movie and getting an album ready for his upcoming world tour so over the past 7 months he hadn't visited.

Louis had been really angry and hurt at first and after a couple months and a tabloid of Harry and some model holding hands Louis had gone out to a local gay bar and run into non other than Stan.

He'd all but turned to run but Stan followed him and stopped him and after a lot of begging Louis had agreed to go to IHOP with him. Much to Louis surprise Stan apologized to him for everything, listing out each apology individually. Then he told Louis about how he had come out to his family and how his wife and his parents had hired the most expensive lawyers to keep him from ever seeing his kid.

Stan had started a charity to help homeless LGBT teens and had been a guest speaker at a few LGBT rights events.

Louis had been stunned silent and then Stan had given him the sweet boyish smile he hadn't seen since secondary and asked if he could take him to lunch.

Louis had googled the shit out of everything Stan had claimed to be a part of and then finally agreed to lunch. 

Lunch then turned into Friday dinner and then Stan had held his hand at the restaurant on top of the table where everyone could see and old feelings had stirred back to life.

After a couple of month Louis had gotten Liam and Zayn to watch the twins overnight and stayed the night with Stan. Their love-making had been tender and sweet in a way it hadn't been since they were teenagers and every time after that it seemed like Stan was washing away all the bad.

Stan had moved in a month back and Louis hadn't even told Harry he was seeing anyone.

He knew he should have...but for some reason he couldn't ...no matter how hard he tried.

He'd sworn Zayn and Liam to secrecy on the issue as well.

When Harry showed up with flowers at his doorstep and that cute smirk on his face Louis felt a wave of guilt and a flood of pain. The twins had run out clumsily and launched themselves at him with chubby little arms and the picture of Harry with their children burned into his mind. 

Stan walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Louis, chuckling softly, "Man I thought they looked so much like you but seeing them with him is wild." He kissed Louis’ neck and then whispered, "Relax. I've got your back and-"

"What in the motherfuckin' bloody hell is _he_ doing here?!"

Stan let go of him and called to Darcy and William, "Come on munchkins, lets go make lunch and let Daddy and Papa catch up."

William chimed excited, "You cut my bananas into sta' shapes again?"

Stan laughed, "Only if I can steal a few."

Darcy nodded, "Otay!"

Harry glare at Louis, "Are you fucking serious? Is he the reason you left?"

"What? No! Are you crazy?"

"No but obviously you are!"

Louis shook his head, "I'm not having a screaming match on the front lawn. Let's get you into your room and we can talk in the studio, where it’s sound proof and the whole neighborhood can’t hear you yell at me."

Once Harry was settled into a guest room they went to the studio where they yelled for the first 30 minutes before Harry finally heard Louis out.

Harry sat in stunned silence for a while before lunging at Louis and wrestling him to the ground and kissing him roughly. 

Louis wanted to be angry and push him away but as Harry slipped a hand into his waistband he lost any semblance of control. 

Harry pushed him onto his stomach and yanked his pants down before shoving into him. Louis cried out in pain because Stan never topped so he hadn't been penetrated in over 7 months. Harry growled and bit Louis shoulder hard enough to leave a mark and then moaned, "I've missed you....god baby you're so tight...please tell me he hasn't had you like this."

Louis panted, "Only...you...."

Harry moaned and thrust against Louis desperately but Louis begged, "Slow down Hazz it hurts."

Not 'Stop.' Or 'get off'. 

Harry stilled and then slowly kissed Louis' neck before rolling his hips gently reaching out and intertwining his fingers with Louis' who's hands lay flat on the floor. 

Harry bit Louis neck softly and started making love to Louis with slow burning fervor. 

Louis arched into him and moaned Harry's name again and again as Harry carried them both to climax. Harry didn't pull out or roll off of Louis after they'd come, instead he kept Louis lithe body pinned beneath his weight and laid soft kisses across the back of Louis shoulders, sucking on the spots he knew were sensitive areas for Louis.

It took a while for the guilt to seep in, because being with Harry felt like being home again, and his body couldn't comprehend how that could be wrong.

Dinner was an awkward affair because the way Stan looked at him told him he knew.

When Louis was finally alone with Stan he expected an angry outburst but Stan just pulled him into his arms. 

Louis sobbed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Stan kissed the top of his head, "I knew it would happen the moment you said he was coming....not because you're a bad person Lou....but when you love someone you love them with all of you....it's why I took advantage of you so many times. I'm upset, but I understand....but....I won't share you, not after he leaves. If he ever visits again he won't be welcome in our home and you won't see him by yourself....so get him out of your system now. Go to him and stay there until this week is over and when you come back be ready to only be mine."

*  
Ariana Grande sat having tea with Darcy as Louis adjusted the tempo to her song, "This is a great song. Who did you say wrote it?" 

Ariana took a pretend sip of her tea cup and Darcy beamed at her with her curly blonde hair and green eyes, then she turned to Louis, "Umm Mick Greenberg...." 

Louis scrunched his nose, "I thought you said the writer was someone I'd worked with before and he recommended me?"

She grimaced and blushed, "Ummmmm can I plead the fifth?"

Louis rolled his eyes, "Oh the mystery, how original. Come on 'fess up, who is it?"

She winced, "Harry Styles..."

Darcy's eyes lit up and she exclaimed excitedly, "Daddy!!"

Louis paled because Darcy called him Papa but she was reacting to Harry's name. Louis tried to play it off, "What baby?"

Darcy rolled her eyes in a very Louis way and proclaimed, "Not you Papa. Titi Ari knows Daddy. Hazzy Styles is my daddy. He always brings me cotton candy!"

Louis forced a laugh, "Oh jeez three year olds and their imagination! Darcy why don't you go find Uncle Stan?"

Darcy hugged Ariana before taking off running into the house and then they sat in silence until Ariana sighed, "Chill out. I already knew."

Louis cleared his throat, "Knew what? I don't know-"

"Louis, Harry and I are friends. Once he knew he could trust me he never stopped showing me videos and pictures of Will and Darce....it's why he trusted me with the song..."

*

Louis replayed the song again and again and again:

Just a little bit of your heart......is all I'm asking for.

The line cut into him like a jagged knife. 

Harry was in town, staying at a hotel only 15 minutes away.....he looked over at Stan sleeping soundly in bed next to him and closed his eyes covering his mouth to hold back a desperate cry.


	16. Something Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I really really am! I have been working on writing a book and working full time and in school full time and you know being a mom and wife....but you guys!!! This is the end!!

Louis paced in front of Harry’s hotel door for a good ten minutes before knocking. He held his breath as the door opened and died a little inside when a guy in a pair of boxer briefs and a tank top opened the door. He was tall and blonde and muscular and good god his biceps were the size of Louis head!

Louis cleared his throat, “Umm, sorry, wrong room.” 

“Lou? Is that you?” A voice came from inside the room and the blonde guy raised an eyebrow and moved to the side giving Louis a view of the room where Harry sat on the couch with a plush white bathrobe on and his lyrics book in his lap. 

“Umm no. Not me- I mean, not Louis.” Louis closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose for being such an idiot. Harry stood up and the blonde guy smirked at Louis, “Ah, you are the boy then, the one he likes to close his eyes and pretend I am. Nice to meet you, my name is Aguste.” He had a heavy Russian accent that took Louis by surprise. 

He turned casually to Harry, “Just wire the money to me, yeah? I take it you will no longer need my services so I will go. Nice to meet you Louis.”

Harry’s cheeks were a ruddy color and Louis watched as the blonde guy, Aguste, packed his belongings in a duffle bag and then put on a pair of sweatpants and tennis shoes and walked out of the room, handing Louis a business card, “In case this doesn’t work out.”

Louis watched as he walked down the hall and around the corner to the elevators before looking down at the business card that read _Secret Delights. Where discretion meets ultimate pleasure._

Louis looked up wide-eyed at Harry who was as red as a perfectly ripened tomato. 

“May I um, come in?” Louis asked hesitantly.

Harry nodded and then looked down at his feet, shame weighing his tongue and feet down. 

Louis stepped inside the room and closed the door, pausing for a moment to compose himself before turning back to Harry, “Was that a hooker?”

Harry nodded and he could feel the heat spreading from his cheeks down his neck and to the rest of his body, “It’s discreet and nobody gets attached...or hurt.” 

Louis felt as if the ground beneath him was about to swoosh out from under his feet, “Ohh Haz...”

Harry looked up, “Don’t do that. Don’t feel sorry for me. I had you and I was too selfish to do right by you and this is what I- this is what’s best.” 

Harry took a deep breath and then panic set in because Louis was in his hotel, “Oh fuck! What happened? Are they okay? Please tell me they’re okay! Let me put on a jumper and -“

“Calm down Haz,” Louis said as he waved his arms around to get Harry’s attention, “The twins are fine. They’re home safe and asleep.” 

Harry stopped moving around and instead looked Louis over, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine.” He opened his arms up and turned slowly, “See, perfectly healthy.”

Harry let out a relieved sigh, “Good.....but then....why are you here?” 

Louis licked his lips before pressing them together and then letting out a soft laugh, “That is the question innit? Why am I here.....umm, well...” He ran his hands through his hair before letting them fall to his side with a loud slap, “The song you gave Ariana Harry.....why did you send her to me?”

Harry winced, “Shit...she told you...listen, I promise I wasn’t trying to stir anything up, I just....I really thought you would be the only one that could produce it properly and I knew you’d wanted to work with Ariana for some time and....I’m sorry, I thought if I use a pseudonym then it would be okay....I’m sorry.” 

Louis cleared his throat, “So how often do you, um, hire people for sex.” 

“Aguste is part of an escort service that caters to closeted celebrities and wealthy businessmen....Nick found it and it was less complicated.”

“How long have you used their services...did you-“

Harry scowled, “Don’t ask that Lou. Fuck. Please don’t ask that. I never cheated on you. Sure I did photo shoots but ever photo and hand position and kiss was staged, it was never ever real or spontaneous. I would never have cheated on you....I can’t believe you would think that.”

It was Louis turn to feel ashamed, “I’m sorry.”

Harry sighed, “It was after I found out about you and Stan and then you chose to stay with him and you put all these rules up about us only seeing one another for the kids and it wasn’t a very good time for me and I wanted to get back at you somehow.” 

Louis swallowed the lump in his throat, “Oh.”

They were silent for a moment and Harry walked over to the bar and poured two glasses of wine and then handed one to Louis, “Sit down would you, you’re making me antsy.” 

They sat down and then stared at each other in eerie silence. 

Finally Louis looked away because tears were burning his eyes and he couldn’t look at Harry and not feel anything, “I missed you....I’m sorry, I know that’s unfair, but I missed you.”

Harry’s voice was quiet but clear, “I miss you every second of every day Lou, so you don’t have to be sorry.”

“We were happy together weren’t we? I didn’t just imagine it all? We were truly happy, right?”

Harry’s throat felt tight but he pushed through it, “Yes. We were.”

“Where did it all go wrong then Harry?”

“If I could rewrite the script then I would Lou, to be with you, I would. I was going to come out, that’s what I came to tell you, I’d gotten it all settled and had a video set to release and interviews set up...but you were with Stan and you seemed happy....and I didn’t want to take that from you.”

“I’m pregnant.” The words blurted out of Louis before he could think it through.

Harry’s face contorted with pain for a moment before he forced a smile on his face, “Congratulations Louis. I hope you and Stan are happy together, I’m sure the twins will be very happy.”

“I’m 14 weeks pregnant.”

Harry felt a dump of dopamine rush through his body with torrential force, “14 weeks was when I....when I came to visit.” 

Louis nodded, “Yeah.”

“Does Stan know?”

“Yeah...he does.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “Does he know it’s my baby?”

Louis nodded, “Yeah...there’s no one else’s it could be...so, yeah.”

“Is he leaving you?” Harry tried his best to keep the excitement out of his voice but he wasn’t sure if he’d succeeded.

“Um, no, he’s okay with it....he said he always wanted a large family.”

Harry’s excitement faded and was replaced by something dark and selfish, “They’re not his kids.”

“He knows that Haz....but he’s been there for them regardless.” 

“Fuck Louis! Fuck! I don’t even know what to say or feel or do! What am I supposed to do?”

Louis swallowed nervously and cleared his throat, “What do you want to do?” 

“I want to kiss you! I want to kiss you and tell you that I’m excited and that I can’t wait until we have a full soccer team or football team or fucking army! I want to go to all your appointments and be totally unprepared and paranoid when you’re giving birth again, this time and every time. I want to be the father of all your children and I want to wake up again and again and again with you beside me!” Harry was yelling and crying and cursing every single time he’d gone against Louis’ wishes and every time he’d taken their love for granted.

Louis wiped at his eyes and laughed, “I came here to cheat on Stan with you so that I would have a way to make him hate me and leave so that I could be with you again....but....but we deserve a better restart than that. We deserve something better, so let’s do this the right way this time yeah?” 

* 

“Breaking news! Harry Styles has come out as bisexual! But don’t get too excited boys, it seems like our heartthrob only has eyes for his baby daddy of three Louis Tomlinson-Styles. Yes folks, that’s right, theses two tied the knot on Friday in an intimate ceremony at Nick Grimshaws Mansion with only a few close friends and family! The couple came out together on social media in a totally adorbs video in which the twins William and Darcy Tomlinson-Styles announces that their ‘papa’ and ‘daddy’ were having another baby! Can you believe it?! The couple then went on to clarify that they wanted to apologize for the secrecy but it was out of their control, talk about throwing shade at Modest! They have a tell all interview set for tonight at 9pm pacific time and the whole wild world of twitter and tumblr have been going INSANE with the news! Please leave your thoughts below as to whether you think this is a fairytale yes or a fairytale don’t!” 

Nick pulled up another YouTube channel and an animated guy with lots of make up on started by running around the rooms with rainbow flags before settling down and grinning, “That’s right bitches. Love wins. Was me running around with rainbow flags extra as fuck? Yes, but not as extra as all you haters out there saying that Harry and Louis coming out is a publicity stunt. Seriously? Seriously? I don’t know what world you live in, but coming it out is not the best career booster, which is why its important, now more than ever, that we have the Tomlinson-Style’s backs! We have to make sure to download and stream all their music and watch all their interviews because we can’t let asshole record companies make an example out of them for not complying with their homophobic closeting! It’s the 21st centrury people! Let’s fucking change shit.”

Nick turned to Harry and Louis with a maniacal grin on his face, “You guys are a hit! We have to use this momentum! We have to get this all taken care of so you two can take some time off when baby number 3 comes along.” 

Louis yawned and rubbed at his eyes, “Why do you have a key to our house? Who gave you the alarm code? And most importantly, why are you in our bedroom at five in the morning?”

“This is important!”

Louis blinked and yawned again and then nudged Harry, “If I have to be up for this, then you have to be up for this too.” 

“But I’m sleepy.....just tell him to go away.”

“I’m growing a human so you tell him to go away.” 

Harry sat up and threw a pillow at Nick, “Go away Grimmy!” 

Nick avoided the pillow and then smiled sweetly at them, “I thought I might need back up.” He walked over and opened their bedroom door and in walked Will and Darce in two adorable Versace suits with tiny briefcases and sunglasses, “Kids, could you please help your favorite uncle out a little.” 

Louis and Harry both ‘awwed’ before reaching for their phones on the nightstand to take pictures. 

Once Nick was certain they were awake he bribed the kids out of their room so they could get ready and Harry watched as Louis walked over to the small cradle by their bed and scooped up Henry, their four-month old son, “Man, this kid is a trooper, he can sleep through anything. He’s been so much easier than the twins. I hope this next one sleeps just as much.”

“Well he’s got no one competing with him to prove lung capacity.” 

The baby stirred and Harry extended his arms, “Hand him over and go pee would you, I can tell you need to by the way you’re hopping from one foot to the other.” 

Louis handed Harry the baby and kissed him quickly before running to their bathroom. 

Harry looked down at the tiny face of their son and smiled, “I am grateful every day for your existence Henry Louise, one day I’ll tell you about how you helped me get daddy back....well at least some of it....I’ll probably leave the whole hooker situation out...and the part where I made your daddy cheat....” 

“Are you telling the baby about hookers again?” Louis teased with a fond tone full of happiness and love.

“I’ll get the story right by the time he can understand.” 

Louis laughed, “I hope so, otherwise he’s going to have weird fettishes.” 

Harry feigned a glare at him and Henry chose that moment to poop. they both laughed as they helped each other change the diaper and choose the right clip-on bow tie for Henry. 

Louis watched as Harry used a sarong to tight Henry against his chest and he felt his heart filling again, “I love you Harry Tomlinson-Styles.” 

Harry smiled, “Good, because we swore Always and forever remember?”

“I will work each and every day to make sure we never forget.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave your thoughts :)


End file.
